“It takes two people looking in all directions at once to see everything.” — Augusten Burroughs Looking Copy Share Image
Life would be fabric-softener, tuna-salad-on-white, PTA-meeting normal. — Augusten Burroughs Fabric Copy Share Image
In some ways, blogging is like drinking - it gives a person permission to be a total asshole. — Augusten Burroughs Asshole Copy Share Image
Nobody's trying to kill you, Deirdre. You're killing yourself. — Augusten Burroughs Kill Copy Share Image
This is what you should know about losing someone you love. They do not travel alone. You go with them. — Augusten Burroughs Losing Copy Share Image
This is what happens when you go against the grain of truth. You get splinters later on. — Augusten Burroughs Grain Copy Share Image
I felt deeply tricked. Stunned. And furious. I also felt my default emotion: numbness. — Augusten Burroughs Default Copy Share Image
I saw a monkey walking on a leash and thought it was an ugly foreign child. — Augusten Burroughs Children Copy Share Image
The truth is humbling, terrifying, and often exhilarating. It blows the doors off the hinges and fills the world with fresh air. — Augusten Burroughs Air Copy Share Image
“I could not imagine the kind of person that would, upon seeing a crazy talcum-powder-covered Southern lady think to herself, Hmmmm, she… — Augusten Burroughs Crazy Copy Share Image
The only other people who have had experiences similar to those of this man were locked up inside institutions for the criminally… — Augusten Burroughs Business Copy Share Image
“Not all gay men send me penis pictures. But no straight men do. And to date, no woman has sent me a… — Augusten Burroughs Gay men Copy Share Image
A lot of being a writer doesn't have anything to do with writing. It's ironic - I have to squeeze the books… — Augusten Burroughs Book Copy Share Image
Maybe you feel pressure to be positive because so many people rely on your good, fake-positive energy? If that's the case, screw… — Augusten Burroughs Being positive Copy Share Image
“Well, you know, just some old man all alone. God, I hope I don't end up alone like that. Some pathetic old… — Augusten Burroughs Old man Copy Share Image
“...Truthfulness itself is almost medicinal, even when it's served without advice or insight. Just hearing true words spoken out loud provides relief.” — Augusten Burroughs Honesty Copy Share Image
It was like living in a new house. I saw the undersides of tables, walked through the tangle of chair legs. It… — Augusten Burroughs Be good Copy Share Image
“Why am I so anxious? And then it hits me. I'm not anxious, I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep… — Augusten Burroughs Lonely Copy Share Image
Self-pity is the bestiality of emotions: it absolutely disgusts people. When you're feeling pity for yourself, and somebody says to you 'You… — Augusten Burroughs Disgusting Copy Share Image
In general, advertising isn't a "creative" atmosphere. It's a business atmosphere and your job is puzzle solving. My favorite aspect of the… — Augusten Burroughs Ads Copy Share Image
“In the middle of the conversation, I open a third ale. I cup my hand over the mouthpiece so they don't hear… — Augusten Burroughs Communication Copy Share Image
“All improvements, transformations, achievements, liberations; everything you want to change about yourself and your life; everything you want to make happen, any… — Augusten Burroughs Allow Copy Share Image
No matter what I've written, someone somewhere has come up to me and said, "Me too." The truth can be offensive, but… — Augusten Burroughs Books Copy Share Image
I don't worry about anything in the Internet age. I have been online since I was aware of it: 1985 in San… — Augusten Burroughs Age Copy Share Image
“Do you understand that you are exactly attractive enough and thin enough (even if you weigh four hundred pounds) and smart enough… — Augusten Burroughs Ur Eyes Copy Share Image
“And I can't stop thinking about Pighead. I wish I could talk to him and he'd talk back. Use some sort of… — Augusten Burroughs Body heat Copy Share Image
I told myself, 'All I want is a normal life'. But was that true? I wasn't so sure. Because there was a… — Augusten Burroughs Consequence Copy Share Image
“Miracles do happen. You must believe this. No matter what else you believe about life, you must believe in miracles. Because we… — Augusten Burroughs Believe in miracles Copy Share Image
“Then he explains Chinese food in Manhattan to me: 'See the way it works is, there's one central location out on Long… — Augusten Burroughs Chinese food Copy Share Image
“Dennis's superior mental health was obvious from the first date, like a cleft palate. The other thing about him was that he… — Augusten Burroughs First date Copy Share Image
Women smirk at baldness. How adorable would they find it if they began to lose their breasts in their late twenties? If… — Augusten Burroughs Add Copy Share Image
But feelings, no matter how strong or “ugly,” are not a part of who you are. They are the radio stations your… — Augusten Burroughs Admitting Copy Share Image
“Life is too huge for you to possibly hate.” — Augusten Burroughs Augusten-burroughs Copy Share Image
“I like it when she's shiny, like a star, like a guest on the Donnie and Marie Show .” — Augusten Burroughs Foil Copy Share Image
I was like a packet of powdered Sea Monkeys and they were like water. — Augusten Burroughs Monkeys Copy Share Image
![“No matter what I've written, someone somewhere has come up to me and said, "Me too." The truth can be offensive, but it's always nourishing, in a way. You recognize it. You can feel it. And even if [readers] think, "My god, I would never get in those situations," within those ridiculous…” quote by Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/eaf/augusten-burroughs-603_books_no-matter-what-i-ve-written-someone-some_2635472.jpg)
