Funny facebook status Quote by Anonymous Download Open image “I hate cripple jokes. I can't stand them.” — Anonymous ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.1 out of 5 (8 ratings) Copy quoteShare Funny facebook status Jokes Sarcastic
I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this. — Julia Sweeney Copy Share Image
Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I have tons of jokes with moments in them over the years in stand-up that don't get a laugh but I love them so… — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
If everybody walks into the room wearing crutches you don't know who can stand on their own two feet. — Joel Salatin Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I never said I hated you. I said if you were on fire I might consider roasting marshmallows. BIG DIFFERENCE!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
English teachers tend to put more thought in the books than the author did — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If lesbians aren't attracted to men, why are they attracted to women that look like men? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they call, I always say I'll be there in 5 minutes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Your Starbucks order is directly proportional to how complicated your personality is. — Kevin Copy Share Image
