A U.N. study claims the happiest country in the world is Switzerland. When asked why they're so happy, Swiss people couldn't answer… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Today's tragedy in Paris reminds us very viscerally that it's a right that some people are inexplicably forced to die for. So… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
San Francisco is the only city in America where marijuana is legal but plastic bags are not. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
This is official today. China has surpassed the U.S. and now has the No. 1 economy in the world. After hearing this,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In the Year 2000 due to the declining number of champions in the world, Wheaties will change its slogan to 'Breakfast of… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Oprah Winfrey just announced that she's planning to attend Barack Obama's inauguration. Oprah says she's very excited to see Obama become the… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
I like being tested. I get as scared as anyone. But the feeling of putting yourself on the line, betting on your… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In response to criticism of its treatment of killer whales, Sea World said it will build them a larger habitat. When asked… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama, by the way, has set a Guinness World Record as the fastest person to get a million Twitter followers. Obama… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
This is really hard to do but I'd like to change the tone now and briefly mention today's terrible tragedy in France.… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People all over the world now are following our election. And according to a new international poll that just came out, I… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.” — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
