Wife Quotes · Page 71

I have sons, and they have never said the word hell in front of me or my wife. That's the truth.

— Danny Aiello

Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?

— Joan Rivers

I was a struggling army wife going to community college who didn't know what to do with my life.

— Anna Todd

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

— Rodney Dangerfield

After I told my wife that black underwear turned me on, she didn't wash my Y-fronts for a month.

— Chic Murray

My wife and I have very deep roots in Colorado, and we can't see ourselves living anywhere else.

— Victor Mitchell

To me, baseball is, in some ways, other than my family and wife, my life, and it always will be.

— Joe Buck

I think having a strong wife and having a solid family are things that have helped me out a lot.

— Chris Harris, Jr

I saw men whom thirty years had changed but slightly; but their wives had grown old. These were good women; it is…

— Mark Twain

Of course I'm happy with my time in professional wrestling. I met some great people, I met my wife, and I wouldn't…

— CM Punk

Sovereign money procures a wife with a large fortune, gets a man credit, creates friends, stands in place of pedigree, and even…

— Horace

Every day, getting up early in the morning before much traffic, my wife takes me 10 miles from home, drops me off,…

— George Foreman

They say Kejriwal fights a lot. Yes I do, but not for my wife or children. I fight for your rights. So…

— Arvind Kejriwal

There was my mom and I had a wife for a long time and now there is my fianc-e. Eileen is in…

— Jeffrey Ashby

“Like the cotton-carder who combs tangled cotton into a long bundle of fibre, you take all my knotted fragments and comb them…

— Kamand Kojouri

Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until the day before his anniversary to buy…

— Rita Rudner

I think my wife puts up with me 'cause I try. I think that's all any guy can do is just try.…

— Bill Engvall

I have an eight-year-old girl and she does have some appreciation for fashion, but she's stuck in that: "Oh my God, this…

— Bode Miller

I think I can recognize when a piece is at a state of completion. I always say to my wife, "Oh yeah,…

— Geoff Dyer

I just look for interesting supporting-biggish supporting parts, and try to do one a year, and that's my limit. Some women can…

— Gwyneth Paltrow

Liar! Liar!" shrieked suddenly from the now open trap door. Miracle Max whirled. "Back, Witch--" he commanded. "I'm not a witch, I'm…

— William Goldman

Capital was always the struggle. I always had these amazing visions. Had this amazing work ethic. Had this amazing work partner in…

— Chip Gaines

What you have is Mitt Romney running around the country saying 'Well, you know, my wife tells me that what women really…

— Barack Obama

Let me start with a confession: I don't enjoy cooking. The reason I usually do it at home is not because I'm…

— Mark Barrowcliffe

If I win, I'll take my wife and buy her a whole new wardrobe. If she's happy then I'll be happy.

— Chris Daughtry

I'm open to anything interesting as long as it doesn't clash with my schedule as a mom and wife.

— Rhea Pillai

I wouldn't be anything without my wife Laura and my mum and dad who are all really there for me.

— Paddy Pimblett

I met my wife, Nia Vardalos, at The Second City, and she was chomping at the bit to move to L.A.

— Ian Gomez

My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.

— Rodney Dangerfield

He that displays too often his wife and his wallet is in danger of having both of them borrowed.

— Benjamin Franklin

I've never yet met a man who could look after me. I don't need a husband. What I need is a wife.

— Joan Collins

Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.

— Rodney Dangerfield

A man who has work that suits him and a wife, whom he loves, has squared his accounts with life.

— Anonymous

My wife Steph never tells me to take on less work - she's just glad to have me out of the house!

— Phillip Schofield

Avoid wine and women - choose a freckly-faced girl for a wife; they are invariably more amiable.

— William Osler

I was not raised to be someone's wife. I was raised so that things should be evenly distributed.

— Joie Lee

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.

— Henny Youngman

My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?

— Milton Berle

God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.

— Darynda Jones

I did two things on my seventy-fifth birthday. I visited my wife's grave. Then I joined the army.

— John Scalzi