Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Some scientists want to replace the handshake with the fist bump. Others want to replace the fist bump with the 'tush push.' — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Scientists have found a way to keep middle-aged female mice from going through menopause. Now they're working on a way to keep… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Scientists say the European space probe that landed on the comet has detected organic matter. This means there could be either life… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Scientists say they're getting closer to developing a pill to replace exercising. Americans heard this and said that it better come in… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In the Year 2000 the discovery of extraterrestrial life will create a revolution in science, art, and pornography. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In response to criticism of its treatment of killer whales, Sea World said it will build them a larger habitat. When asked… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Yeah. Here's the bad news. You just wasted it listening to this joke. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.” — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
