You can always tell when Obama's negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he's missing his watch and his lunch money. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A Republican Congressman, Rep. Chris Lee, was caught flirting with a woman trolling for dates on Craigslist and sent her a shirtless… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Clint Eastwood's speech was kind of a metaphor for the entire Republican Party: A confused old person yelling at something that doesn't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't understand how the Republican party is the party with the reputation for fiscal conservatism and fiscal sanity, when they're the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. That's something I value. Fairness, kindness, generosity, tolerance. That's different.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Government - they used to teach it in college. It's actually something you should study and learn and know how to do.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
There were two Republican responses to the State of the Union. So if you watched the whole night, it was kind of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I just don't think a lot of Republicans like it when single women have sex. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The Eleventh Commandment: don't speak ill of a fellow Republican. What if the fellow Republican is doing something that hurts America? Isn't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans are obsessed with abortion...if they really wanted to protect the weakest, most helpless people, wouldn't they protect the Democrats? — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The Republican Party is like the corpse in 'Weekend at Bernies' and the Tea Party is like the two guys who put… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
It's very well known that the Republicans have problems with minorities. The Democrats have big problems with white people. Obama only got… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Ronald Reagan basically legalized every illegal immigrant in this country. I just like to bring this up because every week I like… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Only 42 percent of Republicans believe Obama was born in the United States. That's an amazing statistic. How come in America Christians… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Because of the Republicans, I'm not ashamed of being an American. I'm embarrassed! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans don't have to accept evolution, economics, climatology, or human sexuality, but I just watched a week of their national convention, and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Unemployment is down, confidence is up, DOW 5,000 above Bush - or as Republicans put it, let's talk about gay people and abortion! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
We've created over 200,000 jobs every month this year. Hasn't happened in 17 years. I guess my first question is, when do… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Karl Rove thinks we shouldn’t have Hillary Clinton in the White House because she fell and hit her head a couple years… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans have become the party of red, white and blue rose colored glasses. By drowning out criticism with USA! USA!, they prevent… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
John Kerry is finding out that it is no fun to be the front runner, that's when you get all the heat.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
They say that Japan's rigorous building codes and regulations saved thousands of lives over there. Or, as Republicans here saw it, it… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In Washington, the air quality today was described as 'red.'...You know what 'red' is? It's bad for everyone. Not just old people,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
