He felt a momentary pang of regret that he had not spent more time with his beloved wife. But it passed when… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I was very pleased to get a Supreme Court justice suggesting a column, so I went and did a column about Beano.… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
A sense of humor is a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
In my experience, if you go to a hospital for any reason whatsoever, including to read the gas meter, they give you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Every year I write a tax advice column and I used to always make fun of that. One year, one of my… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If for some reason you are unsure where to go, all you have to do is stand there looking lost, and within… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The great thing about golf - and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it -… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The reason it's called "Grape Nuts" is that it contains "dextrose," which is also sometimes called "grape sugar," and also because "Grape… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Denmark (also called Norway) is best known as the original home of the prune Danish as well as the Vikings, who wore… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I wrote about why I didn't think libertarians are really doing this kind of thing so that they can have sex with… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The science fair has long been a favorite educational tool in the American school system, and for a good reason: Your teachers… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The French are not rude. They just happen to hate you. But that is no reason to bypass this beautiful country, whose… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Nobody in the United States knows what either a "meter" or a "kilogram" is. The whole reason why we fought the Cold… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
People - just weird people are attracted to Miami. And they come there not for serious reasons, usually. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The voice belonged to Mr. Pzyrbovich, an algebra teacher who was always called Mr. P, for obvious reasons. He has a heavy… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
