“New Rule: Conservatives have to stop rolling their eyes every time they hear the word "France." Like just calling something French is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
And he said that 47%-that's pretty high-47% of Americans are basically welfare bums who are mooching off the government. And then he… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“We should stop worrying so much about the price of gasoline and start considering its cost . You really want to be… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Barack Obama is the President of the United States, a politician in America, a very religious country, so I understand why he… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
As a comedian, I think we all look for those areas where the truth diverts from what people are saying. That's why… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Don't you think that being a person of faith has become a third rail in American politics? If you want to run… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Unemployment is down, confidence is up, DOW 5,000 above Bush - or as Republicans put it, let's talk about gay people and abortion! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Sarah Palin said perhaps the most irresponsible thing I've ever heard any politician say. She said, 'The only thing that stops a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Since Glenn Beck is clearly onto us, liberals must launch our plan for socialist domination immediately. Listen closely, comrades, I've… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It's kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald's and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
We've been on a long break and I've just been kicking back, doing nothing. Like our government. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Faced with our addiction to oil, what does our leadership say? Get more of it! Strange when you consider their answer to… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Americans today confuse freedom with not being asked to sacrifice. The fact that you can't have everything you want exactly when you… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Politicians will promise some pretty ridiculous things. They will promise a chicken in every pot. They'll promise that they'll keep Social Security… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: America has every right ot bitch about gas prices suddenly shooting up. How could we have known? Oh, wait, there… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
My thinking is, government is really there to do the things that people absolutely can't do for themselves. And that's mostly involved… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
...what I love about Ann Coulter is that she's sort of the-she's sort of a version of myself in that she absolutely… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“We're a complacent society, hard to get riled up in the first place, and then when we do, it's misdirected.” — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has a pack in his back, my answer… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: You can't put a windmill in your campaign ad if you voted against every single bill that might lead to… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
