One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move.… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I started over again with an image: Nothing goes right. Then when The Godfather came out, all I heard was, Show respect.… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
When I was a kid we were so poor, if I hadn't been a boy I wouldn't have had anything to play… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I was so ugly my parents had to hang a pork chop around my neck to get the dog to play with… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a t-shirt with a bulls eye on the back. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint-a Saint Bernard! — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: `Basement?' — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I don't care how rich and successful a man is. He's nothing without an education. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
