“should be going in there with a thousand naked warriors who fight like wet cats with dodgy bowels.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“I just starred at him like he was trying to sell me the Sham-wow and the Slapchop for only $19.99” — Kevin Hearne Trying Sell Copy Share Image
You don't need to say any special incantation or sacrifice a stray cat or something first? — Kevin Hearne Cat Copy Share Image
“never thought I'd see a jaguar brought to its knees by rhino shit." Oberon” — Kevin Hearne Dog-sense Copy Share Image
“It's not like the Middle Ages, when you had the Church and the aristocracy keeping everything nice and stagnant.” — Kevin Hearne Aristocracy Copy Share Image
She switched from ecstasy to embarrassment at about Mach five. — Kevin Hearne Ecstasy Copy Share Image
“Dude. If that was a Shakespearean quote duel, he just kicked your ass.” — Kevin Hearne Atticus Copy Share Image
I had my own dump truck of bad karma waiting for me somewhere ahwad. I had certainly earned it, but I raced… — Kevin Hearne Bad karma Copy Share Image
“PR guys get paid to make people believe that a pile of shit is an investment in soil fertility. Professional liars.” “Ah!”… — Kevin Hearne Investing Copy Share Image
“We saw Leif to the door and wished him farewell. Time to hit the hay for the last time in this old… — Kevin Hearne Last time Copy Share Image
“Out of the steam and the foam and the froth, a man in white with poor eyesight will craft a liquid paradox,… — Kevin Hearne Poor eyesight Copy Share Image
Ye know what me Sean used to say, God rest his soul? He said, 'A friend will help ye move, Katie, but… — Kevin Hearne Body Copy Share Image
As any war veteran will tell you, there is a vast difference between preparing for battle and actually facing battle for the… — Kevin Hearne Battle Copy Share Image
“The gods damn you, look what you've done! If I want to grow this back, I'll have to endure the most terrifying… — Kevin Hearne Humour Copy Share Image
“I think every creature near enough to hear that just pooped" Oberon said, "And then it went into hiding. Hunting tip number… — Kevin Hearne Dog-sense Copy Share Image
“ What's silly is paying five bucks for hot milk and flavored syrup! But now I see what's really been going on… — Kevin Hearne Bad hair Copy Share Image
“You're trying to be cool now , Leif? Seriously?" "I am the shit, home slice, straight up," he replied. "No. I mean,… — Kevin Hearne Dinner party Copy Share Image
“What if one of your customers hears us talking about covers and such things?" "We're in the perfect place to talk of… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Wooo!’ he said, slamming his shot glass down and coughing a bit. ‘That’s good stuff.’ I agreed heartily. ‘Shall we do another… — Kevin Hearne Coughing Copy Share Image
The Morrigan’s ideas of sport and mine varied widely. As a Chooser of the Slain, she tends to enjoy nothing so much… — Kevin Hearne Enjoy Copy Share Image
Oh noes, kitteh haz major angriez!” I said. I turned around to share a laugh with my companions and found them glaring… — Kevin Hearne Companion Copy Share Image
How would you take care of it?” I asked. He shrugged. “I know some ghouls. I make a couple calls, the guys… — Kevin Hearne Bags Copy Share Image
“Of course, I didn’t choose to fail. Failure is rarely a conscious decision and it’s often out of our control, determined by… — Kevin Hearne Failure Copy Share Image
