“Out, out, thou strumpet Fortune!" I cried with all the venom of Charlton Heston. Oberon asked. "It's a Shakespearean word for whore." ” — kevin hearne Copy Share Image
“Hopefully next time I won't be recovering from an assassination attempt, and then I'll do better.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Their numbers swell like viruses until they madden someone with a large army.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Dude. If that was a Shakespearean quote duel, he just kicked your ass.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Are you going to kick somebody’s ass? I don’t know. Maybe. Well, I’m not going to worry. I’ve watched you spar with… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“I quietly cast camouflage on myself, which is the nearest I can come to invisibility. It binds my pigment to my surroundings,… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“They may have been victims at one time, but what you have to focus on is what they are now.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“When you're in the middle of a killing field and the fucking Chooser of the Slain tells you to do something, you… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“How can I be assured the apple you bring me is Idunn's? Well, it'll be golden, for one thing, and after you… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Like many silly codes of bravery and manliness, the meat of my father’s instruction on how to die well can be distilled to a… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Hence the reason I encourage you to believe what you wish. The heaven of teh Pastafarians is supposed to have beer volcanoes, which sounds… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Awesome! I'd just bullied Jesus into doing a shot with me. Nobody would ever believe it, but I didn't care. We ordered the insanely… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“I thought for the longest time that chicken-fried steak was steak that had been fried by specially trained chickens,” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
When he said to give him the sword, I don’t think he meant for you to stick it in his guts. — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“No. See, when you throw up you're vomiting, but when you throw down you're starting a fight, as in throwing down the gauntlet." "Ohhhh,"… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“The grin on his face wasn’t the affable, friendly sort; instead, it was the sociopathic rictus of the irretrievably, bug-fuckeringly insane” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“What sealed the deal for me was that the cloak wouldn't come off without a generous donation of my tears. Those used to be… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
