Wisdom eludes me yet, but foolishness I captured long ago and to this day it is my constant companion, though many people… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
For me, the times I always regret are missed opportunities to say farewell to good people, to wish them long life and… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
-“Say no more,” Leif interrupted. “I understand. I will simply have to kill them all myself.” -"There he goes again. I’m telling… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Oh, I know. They’re dwarfs pretending to be elves. No, they’re not dwarfs either. Okay, okay, they’re “little people,” I’m sorry! Can’t… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Before he (Francis Bacon) came along, people conducted all their arguments through a series of logical fallacies or simply shouting louder than… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Turns out that once you kill a god, people want to talk to you. Paranormal insurance salesmen with special "godslayer" term life… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Icy glares from vampires are far icier than icy glares from people and when the vampire giving you an icy glare is… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Here is how you know someone has had a good idea: Other people freely admit to their friends that said idea has… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
The point is, Mrs. MacDonagh, that the universe is exactly the size that your soul can encompass. Some people live in extremely… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
People used to say obvious things ironically or as a form of understatement, but in the last few decades they seem to… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Like many silly codes of bravery and manliness, the meat of my father’s instruction on how to die well can be distilled to a… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Hence the reason I encourage you to believe what you wish. The heaven of teh Pastafarians is supposed to have beer volcanoes, which sounds… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Awesome! I'd just bullied Jesus into doing a shot with me. Nobody would ever believe it, but I didn't care. We ordered the insanely… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“I thought for the longest time that chicken-fried steak was steak that had been fried by specially trained chickens,” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
When he said to give him the sword, I don’t think he meant for you to stick it in his guts. — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“No. See, when you throw up you're vomiting, but when you throw down you're starting a fight, as in throwing down the gauntlet." "Ohhhh,"… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“The grin on his face wasn’t the affable, friendly sort; instead, it was the sociopathic rictus of the irretrievably, bug-fuckeringly insane” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“What sealed the deal for me was that the cloak wouldn't come off without a generous donation of my tears. Those used to be… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
