Do they allow tipping on the boat? - Yes, sir. Have you got two fives? - Oh, yes, sir. Then you won't… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how! — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
There was no need to inform us of the protocol involved. We were from Chicago and knew all about cement. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My brother thinks he's a chicken-We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
![“He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that is. You see, Pop never used a tape measure. He didn't believe in it. He said he could just look at a man and tell hi.” quote by Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/02f/groucho-marx-788_accurate_he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-tr_22161.jpg)
