I don't think George Bush is a good president by any imagination, but when he said, 'If you're talking to Al-Quaeda, we… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Naturally the smart thing to do to solve your economic woes is to demonize the Democrats. And of course, Sarah Palin is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
My generation didn`t face the kind of urgent, pressing issues that my parents did, who fought through a war and a Depression… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When consumers know things, they tend to make informed choices, and that could affect corporate profits. I'm sorry, but your right to… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Do you want to know why marijuana is illegal? Because the drug companies want marijuana to be illegal. You see, if it… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
40% of homicides go unsolved. You know, it's not a very good record. And, also, 95% of convictions in America come from… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Government - they used to teach it in college. It's actually something you should study and learn and know how to do.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The [Libyan] rebels this week kind of hinted to the United States that they could use a little help. Right. Like, America… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Sarah Palin has already had an effect on foreign relations... The new president of Pakistan, Ali Zardari, is in hot water, because… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Osama bin Laden put out a new video. The timing of this video has some people upset, three days before we vote.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
God knows life sucks. It's right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
My father was a news guy, you know, he was in radio news. And so that was sort of in my DNA.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You know, we do a lot of complaining here in America. And that itself is something they can't do in a lot… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Nowas you all know, this week, Pope Benedict told Vatican Radio—you know, Vatican Radio, playing the hits from the 8th century, 9th… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I want to just take a moment to thank the Teabaggers. Thank you so much for helping us pass health care, for… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Edward Snowden gave a little press conference today. He is apparently seeking temporary asylum in Russia. Because, you know, when you're tired… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Anyone who tells you that they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you dont. How can… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
And he said that 47%-that's pretty high-47% of Americans are basically welfare bums who are mooching off the government. And then he… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't think all life is precious. I know people say that all the time, "Life is precious." I think some life… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The Founding Fathers were more deists. If you had to categorize them as anything. There was some sort of moving prime force.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't say that I'm an atheist. I don't like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't know if [Barack Obama] saw the latest religion survey, but almost a quarter of the country are Nones. I don't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
We don't like mystery. You like mystery, 'cause it's not a mystery to you; you know when you're gonna get laid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Karl Rove thinks we shouldn’t have Hillary Clinton in the White House because she fell and hit her head a couple years… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
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