For 35 years, I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren't funny. Some of them weren't… — Al Franken Copy Share Image
They tell us that we live in a great free republic; that our institutions are democratic; that we are a free and… — Eugene V. Debs Copy Share Image
jokes are ideally pleasurable. They are an act of assassination without a corpse, a moment of total annihilation that paradoxically makes anything… — Penelope Gilliatt Copy Share Image
Sure, retarded jokes write themselves. But the spelling is always way off. — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
Being fat is nature's way of saying, You're so good, I think I'll make more of you! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's like one of those scenes from a feel-good Hollywood movie. Where everybody is happy and nobody's hair fizzes in the wind.… — Randa Abdel-Fattah Copy Share Image
Humor is not funny. Humor is something else. Funny is a joke, sometimes silly. Comedy is deep and connected to tragedy; comedy… — Gerald Stern Copy Share Image
I could never be a professional comedian, 'cause you have to keep telling the same jokes. For me, they're like word solos. — Robyn Hitchcock Copy Share Image
Tell people the truth, they laugh. The truth is so tragic they have to pretend it's a joke. — Lucille Kallen Copy Share Image
I need a woman to have a quirky sense of humor. There's a bunch of jokes I use, and if she doesn't… — Matthew Perry Copy Share Image
I took my girl to dinner, and she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she dropped her tray. — Jack Benny Copy Share Image
Comedy is just to me, maybe it's a natural knack, if I can see where the joke is in the writing and… — Matt LeBlanc Copy Share Image
When you're young and you first see the extent and depth of the world's hypocrisy, it's fun to go after it. But… — Harold Ramis Copy Share Image
Who run the world girls, who run the girls boys, who fuck the girls boys boys :p — Horla Copy Share Image
The thing that's weird is that we thought it was funny. We expected people to get the joke - that we [with… — George Michael Copy Share Image
“Casy said, "Ol' Tom's house can't be more'n a mile from here. Ain't she over that third rise?" Sure," said Joad. "Less… — John Steinbeck Copy Share Image
I'm not good at narrative; I'm really a gag writer, and that comes from being in the newspaper comic strip world for… — Jeff Kinney Copy Share Image
Even my bio on Instagram is like, 'That girl that fell at the Olympics.' Just as a joke. Because that's how people… — McKayla Maroney Copy Share Image
The real joke that history played on American women is not the one that makes people snigger, with cheap Freudian sophistication, at… — Betty Friedan Copy Share Image
Hour-long TV is no joke. It tests you as a human being. It makes you a stronger person, but it's really crazy. — Rebecca Romijn Copy Share Image
Televison allows thousands of people to laugh at the same joke and still remain alone. — Bertrand Russell Copy Share Image
I’ve never taken time off from being an actor. This is the kind of career I’d be so happy to do until… — Ansel Elgort Copy Share Image
Between me and my wife, there's this joke where I'll be doing some fun interview, and I'll get off the phone and… — John Flansburgh Copy Share Image
I'm not going to name any names, but let's just say, I want to do jokes on Donald Trump so badly, and… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They all think any minute I'm going to commit suicide. What a joke. The truth of course is the exact opposite: suicide… — Walker Percy Copy Share Image
“Looking but not seeing is the hearing but not understanding of the eye.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
There are certain jokes that indicate how mainstream a comic is. If you're talking about how the side effects of drugs that… — Gary Gulman Copy Share Image
I used to forget that I was an Indian woman. I would even forget that I was a woman. I don't think… — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think; there's the truth.' I try to think of… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
“Unbeknown to us, some of the people who we hope are missing us wherever they are do miss us; some miss someone… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I don't really care for, like, fat jokes about women, specifically. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
Which weakness shall I tell her? “I walk funny,” I say, and she’s satisfied with that. (inside joke) — Mary E. Pearson Copy Share Image
I think sketch writing is a good spot for everyone to start because it requires you to develop characters, have a beginning,… — Blake Anderson Copy Share Image
I'm an actor. I've always been an actor. I've always approached all my comedy as an actor. I don't really care about… — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
I laughed. Partly at the joke, partly at how Afghan humor never changed. Wars were waged, the Internet was invented, and a… — Khaled Hosseini Copy Share Image
I'm banned from Middlebrook elementary for telling dirty jokes to the janitor. The janitor! He cleans up dirt for a living. — Thom Yorke Copy Share Image
![“The thing that's weird is that we thought it was funny. We expected people to get the joke - that we [with Andrew Ridgeley] were two guys really making asses of ourselves.” quote by George Michael](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/42d/george-michael-1332_andrew_the-thing-that-s-weird-is-that-we-though_2471073.jpg)
