A comedy can actually get funnier and funnier. Even though you know the joke, you enjoy it so much, it's the facial… — Eli Roth Copy Share Image
I'm not the type of guy who's funny in the room. I'm the guy who's funny late at night on a computer,… — Scott Aukerman Copy Share Image
Education is incomplete without 5 B's B - Bikes B - Beers B - Babes B - Bunks and the most important… — Vinesh Copy Share Image
You might like it as a joke or because you liked it then, but there isn't a whole new generation discovering Wham!. — Rob Zombie Copy Share Image
It's like love making, the foreplay is the biggest part, the same thing as comedy. If you can frame your show in… — Tommy Chong Copy Share Image
It's the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central, and they've been… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
You see a lot of sketch variety shows where each segment is one joke that they repeat over and over and over… — Eric Andre Copy Share Image
I'm not the type that would ask for a number or ask him on a date, but I have approached a guy.… — Jhene Aiko Copy Share Image
It's very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten seconds. My thing is to… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must… — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
Occasionally you get that one person that says "I really like that one part of this joke" and you go, "Oh thank… — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
I cut my teeth playing rock songs on the accordion when I was a teenager and my friends always thought that was… — Al Yankovic Copy Share Image
I started to make harder jokes before anyone else did. And the producers would get anxious. They'd say, 'That's a little bit… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
When I was younger, I listened to the greats: Winters, Mel and Carl, Nichols and May, Pryor, Carlin, Klein, Berman and lots… — Richard Lewis Copy Share Image
Star Wars film is breaking all previous box office records. (Why might we want to revisit those characters, that narrative, those jokes… — Laura Mullen Copy Share Image
There are certain sorts of jokes which have only to do with the substitution of the unexpected word in a familiar context.… — Tom Stoppard Copy Share Image
When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Guy: Wanna hear a joke about my d*ck? Nvm its too long. Girl: Wanna hear a joke about my p*ssy? Nvm you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm obsessed with coffee. My doctor says if I don't cut back, I am going to permanently damage my esophagus. No joke. — Matthew Gray Gubler Copy Share Image
The best joke-tellers are those who have the patience to wait for conversation to come around to the point where the jokes… — Joseph Epstein Copy Share Image
I often fake my death and then just show up at people's houses. They say 'that's a good one Thom' but I… — Thom Yorke Copy Share Image
We were almost getting used to playing without fans in the Champions League. Jokes aside though, I think help from our fans… — Roberto Mancini Copy Share Image
My joke, which isn't really a joke, is that there will be one of two tours: the tour for the album that… — Richard Marx Copy Share Image
Sometimes you just create a joke out of thin air in the editing room. I'm really glad I've had that experience. It… — Ed Helms Copy Share Image
I think jokes are a perfectly viable form of literature. Some critics take issue with me because I make my points and… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
I don't do plays without jokes anymore. I've retired from those plays. I think it's bad manners to invite people to sit… — Bill Nighy Copy Share Image
Remember that the wit, humour, and jokes of most mixed companies are local. They thrive in that particular soil, but will not… — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
I’ve never taken time off from being an actor. This is the kind of career I’d be so happy to do until… — Ansel Elgort Copy Share Image
If a condescending joke is truly funny, make yourself the subject- you will increase the number of people laughing by at least… — Joe Harsel Copy Share Image
The youngest child in any family is always a jokemaker, because a joke is the only way he can enter into an… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
On Anzac Day, coffee and jokes with a Turk might be the most meaningful and fair dinkum dawn service you could possibly… — Michael Leunig Copy Share Image
I love jokes that come out of nowhere. The ones where people look at the screen and go, 'What the Hell was… — Allen Covert Copy Share Image
People say, 'Oh, are you tired of the Jesus jokes yet?' I can't get tired of the Jesus jokes because this is… — Tom Payne Copy Share Image
I don't need somebody who will make me laugh. I'm looking for someone who will laugh at my jokes and make me… — Terry Mark Copy Share Image
I stumbled on a joke idea and style that worked, the audience went with it and, from that moment on, I was… — Marcus Brigstocke Copy Share Image
I'm not a comedian. I don't do stand-up. I don't tell jokes. I'm a comedic actor, and approach my work that way.… — Eugene Levy Copy Share Image
I'd rather laugh in bed than do it. If I went to a lady of the night, I'd probably pay her to… — Billy Joel Copy Share Image
I would eat healthy but remember that 1 time Adam & eve ate an apple in the garden of Eden & doomed… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't think every joke has to be so dadgum cerebral. I mix it up really good, because that's the kind of… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
With my boyfriend, we can make sexist jokes to each other because we know it's absolutely not true. If I get home… — Emily Browning Copy Share Image
