What's the point of blurring out the middle finger on TV, like oh you've fooled me, what's behind that blur? Is it… — Persia Copy Share Image
Many of the political jokes that circulated in the Third Reich were directed at Goering. He collected them [all] in a large… — Richard Overy Copy Share Image
The intention which is fixed on God as its only end will keep people steady in their purposes, and deliver them from… — Thomas a Kempis Copy Share Image
I have a lot of glass in my house, and I remember saying as a joke once that I clean my stuff… — Courteney Cox Copy Share Image
I'm not built for war. I'm built for entertainment. I'm built for jokes - either telling them or being the butt of… — Josh Peck Copy Share Image
People are too lazy and too stupid to think for themselves that we've got sitcoms with canned laughter that lets you know… — Marilyn Manson Copy Share Image
I had to keep the text pretty spare compared to what I would typically do in a picture book. My picture books… — Laurie Keller Copy Share Image
So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One of my favorite titles of an art piece is "Première Communion de Jeunes Filles Chlorotiques Par Un Temps De Neige" or… — Matthea Harvey Copy Share Image
There are things you do when you're writing that are so fun to do it's almost like they're private jokes that are… — Chad Harbach Copy Share Image
I used to watch 'Coming to America' every day after school. I have full-on long-running inside jokes with friends and family about… — Gabourey Sidibe Copy Share Image
America sometimes resembles, at least from the point of view of a black man, an exceedingly monotonous minstrel show; the same dances,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I lose faith every time I have to start a new page, and this is no joke. I've occasionally been criticized over… — Chris Ware Copy Share Image
All human populations are in some sense immigrants. All hostility between different cultures in one place has an aspect of the classic… — Neal Ascherson Copy Share Image
I got some tartar control toothpaste. I still have tartar, but that stuff's under control. I got so much tartar, I don't… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
If you don't have your experiences in the moment, if you gloss them over with jokes or zoom past them, you end… — David Rakoff Copy Share Image
I'd like to speak a foreign language well enough to get the jokes. I'd like to talk with Socrates, and watch Michelangelo… — Robert Fulghum Copy Share Image
Sometimes in the studio movies I've been working in, you'll put a joke in a movie because the crowd loves it -… — David Gordon Green Copy Share Image
You can either just have fun with the joke or you can have fun with the joke and think about the implication… — Reggie Watts Copy Share Image
What incensed him the most was the blatant jokes of the ones that passed it all off as a jest, pretending to… — James Joyce Copy Share Image
“Why is a Christmas tree better than a man? Because it stays up, has cute balls, and looks good with the lights… — Emily Giffin Copy Share Image
If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
[The Outsiders] was very competitive, in the best possible way. Full of love, full of companionship and fellowship, pranks and practical jokes… — Rob Lowe Copy Share Image
All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from… — Alan Moore Copy Share Image
The great joke is that a realist is an optimistic pessimist. That's very witty. Whether it's truthful or not, that I don't… — John Hurt Copy Share Image
People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
This is for you Danny, and Hunter, and Tanner, and KC. And for all the other ppl that insist on making these… — Rachel Copy Share Image
I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that… — Simon Le Bon Copy Share Image
A woman came to ask the doctor if a woman should have children after thirty-five. I said, 'Thirty-five children is enough for… — Gracie Allen Copy Share Image
Racing is bulging at the seams with pure nutball characters, men who can drink more, screw more, fight more, laugh more, joke… — Brock Yates Copy Share Image
The Lord's angel, Gebrail, dictated the Koran to Mohammed the Lord's Prophet. What a joke if all that holy book were only… — Thomas Pynchon Copy Share Image
I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
My biggest superhero of writing is Jorge Luis Borges, the Argentine fabulist. He's an amazingly perceptive writer, but also willing to make… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
When you put yourself in environments that continually test you, that's where all the good stories come from. That's where the jokes… — Henry Rollins Copy Share Image
That annoying moment when you just want to listen to music but someone wants to constantly speak to you, making you pause… — Emanuel Sebastiao Copy Share Image
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've always felt that animals are the purest spirits in the world. They don't fake or hide their feelings, and they are… — Pink Copy Share Image
“Unbeknown to us, some of the people who we hope are missing us wherever they are do miss us; some miss someone… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Yeah, I crack myself up a lot more than I crack anybody else up, but that is okay. At least I am… — Corey Taylor Copy Share Image