And it's Gryfindor in possession again, as Johnson takes the Quaffle— Flint alongside her —poke him in the eye, Angelina —it was… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
With comics it's very close, like, "I don't want to say anything onstage that I wouldn't say offstage." Or vice versa. I… — Neal Brennan Copy Share Image
What's fascinating about doing comedy about the referendum is, because it is the first time, it is the most extraordinary atmosphere. You… — Rory Bremner Copy Share Image
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick. — Kevin Copy Share Image
Im not the voice of reason; Im more the guy using these offensive topics as fodder to raise tension in a joke. — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk-dancing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let the surgeon take care to regulate the whole regimen of the patient's life for joy and happiness by promising that he… — Henri de Mondeville Copy Share Image
There are terrific TV shows now. This is a golden age for TV humor, I think. There's an actual market there. Of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I always laugh the hardest at the stuff you see in day-to-day life. It's great when somebody can tell a joke that… — Luke Wilson Copy Share Image
“The right honorable gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests, and to his imagination for his facts.” — Richard Brinsley Sheridan Copy Share Image
Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
And writing comedy and it really taught me how to kind of like craft jokes, it sounds like weird but really focus… — Nicholas Stoller Copy Share Image
That family glaze of common references, jokes, events, calamities-that sense of a family being like a kitchen midden: layer upon layer of… — Laurie Colwin Copy Share Image
A girl prepares your fridge football season. The woman just wants you on her tight end. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
This global recession has had a detrimental effect on my sex life. It's ages since I've been able to afford it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I use a lot of humor, and I follow the saying that if you want to tell people the truth, you better… — Sayed Kashua Copy Share Image
You know what they're doing to your Constitution? They're making a joke out of your Constitution. Love's not in your court room.… — Charles Manson Copy Share Image
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they… — George Burns Copy Share Image
If parents snicker at racial and gender jokes, another generation will pass on the poison adults still have not had the courage… — Marian Wright Edelman Copy Share Image
I love my babies so much that I could kiss them all day long..as a job. I could be a professional baby… — Jessica Capshaw Copy Share Image
I don't think any of us felt like, "Oh, we need to put joke songs on the record." If we found something… — Mark Hoppus Copy Share Image
Holy wow! it looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork. — Curly Copy Share Image
When I watch a comedy that's just hitting you over the head with jokes constantly, some really hit, but if they miss,… — David Walton Copy Share Image
My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Sometimes you just have to sit down and ask your parents if they sold your soul. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“In a theater, it happened that a fire started offstage. The clown came out to tell the audience. They thought it was… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you put your finger in your ear, and scratch it, it sounds just like pac man :) — Ricardo Alexandre Copy Share Image
There's a lot of hypocrisy in audiences. I'd never dream of telling even on a nightclub stage, let alone my show, some… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
There is laughter, shrill calls. Everyone is flirting, saying in nudges and jokes and blushing what they would do in private — Jesmyn Ward Copy Share Image
People would say, "Oh, you say you just do jokes." I don't just do jokes. I do jokes. Jokes are important. They… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As the years went on, the audience has become very jaded. They've heard every joke, they've seen every story line, they know… — Betty White Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've been invited to a Halloween party tonight in America. To scare all the Yanks, I'm going as low-fat food! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think when people watch a lot of artists, they're expecting this showiness, and I'm cracking jokes with people. I'm heckling back.… — Caitlin Rose Copy Share Image
If you follow me & expect a follow back, please do let me know! So I can block you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
