The ultimate joke was the idea that capitalism would eat its own feces in order to make money, that would make fun… — Chuck Palahniuk Copy Share Image
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I love the idea that we put in jokes the kids don't get. And that later, when they grow up and read… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
As a kid, I was searching for my tribe of other people who saw through the matrix. Even as a kid I… — RuPaul Copy Share Image
I do not make jokes about Sarah Palin simply because I could not live in this world if I believed she was… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I never get tired of 'It Was A Good Day' references or jokes or anything like that. It's just, you know, keeping… — Ice Cube Copy Share Image
I don't think I've ever died on stage. I've had jokes that died on stage. I've told a joke and absolutely nothing.… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
A Catholic priest, a Jewish rabbi, and a Muslim mullah all walk into a bar, and the bartender says: - What is… — C. S. Lewis Copy Share Image
It's when I make a joke about Indian people and then a white person comes up to me and says, "That's wrong.… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
I think it's a slightly crazy time actually, it's very difficult to satirise because each of politicians is in their own way… — Armando Iannucci Copy Share Image
I call my backup singers my sister wives. To me, they are my best friends. We are all super close. It's kind… — Alex Winston Copy Share Image
I used to joke that one of the reasons there was a lack of classical work on my CV was because I… — Bill Nighy Copy Share Image
Now, some people do this for shock value. Shock is just another uptown word for surprise. Granted it has a different quality… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There are a lot of comedic actors who are just out to be the funny one and get all the laughs and… — Jake M. Johnson Copy Share Image
Sir Joh Bjelke-Petersen has been the Queensland premier the whole time we've been in Australia, and the state is a national joke… — Nick Earls Copy Share Image
As an actor, you can really play the intensity and gravity and seriousness of the moment, and just rely on the circumstances… — Ed Helms Copy Share Image
I will do almost anything for the sake of a joke or for the sake of someone's real belief in something to… — Selma Blair Copy Share Image
Good shoes - they're the ultimate finishing touch. In fact, we actually joke in my family that your shoes have to be… — Cam Newton Copy Share Image
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they… — George Burns Copy Share Image
You throw a perfectly straight line at the audience and then, right at the end, you curve it. Good jokes do that. — Abe Burrows Copy Share Image
I performed stand-up because I didn't have to ask anyone's permission. My set was never joke-centric. It was a performance. — Michael Keaton Copy Share Image
You can't wait forever for an audience to get the joke, but you should give them at least two seconds to join… — Franklyn Ajaye Copy Share Image
I love 'Last Call.' It took me a little bit to figure out that I wasn't going to be that guy in… — Carson Daly Copy Share Image
At the time, it was a really funny joke [Fluffy] and I went back and forth with going against the joke or… — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
The opening scene in A New Hope, when you see the huge ship, it goes on, and on, and on, and on,… — Cass Sunstein Copy Share Image
As professionals, we just try to keep the jokes to a minimum, when we're in a certain situation. When we're not doing… — Mike Colter Copy Share Image
I can tell jokes. I can talk to the audience. I can relax. I can change my songs whenever I want. I… — Robert Goulet Copy Share Image
What I would do in order to be popular was, I'd put myself on line and joke around and be funny, and… — Leonardo DiCaprio Copy Share Image
Over the past 50 years Bob Hope employed 88 joke writers who supplied him with more than one million gags, and he… — Eddie Murphy Copy Share Image
Facebook should have some kind of limit on the number of times that people can change their relationship statuses. After five or… — Ryan Swain Copy Share Image
There is laughter, shrill calls. Everyone is flirting, saying in nudges and jokes and blushing what they would do in private — Jesmyn Ward Copy Share Image
Yesterday, I came home early from work and found my Girlfriend cheating. The lazy bitch has hired a maid for cooking. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm not good at telling a joke, but I can say a line in a certain way that makes people uncomfortable because… — Walton Goggins Copy Share Image
What I didn't realize is that the writing process for comedies is that you do your table read, and if you aren't… — David Morse Copy Share Image
I get just as much of a thrill out of constructing a good sentence that gets a laugh at the end as… — Julian Clary Copy Share Image
If I can enjoy a joke at the expense of another; if I can in any way slight another in conversation, or… — Amy Carmichael Copy Share Image
I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not. So it's hard for me… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
When comedy is good, it's jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection,… — Billy Crystal Copy Share Image
I don't want to be with someone boring because I'm always laughing. I like to play jokes on people and be sarcastic. — Ashley Benson Copy Share Image
Someone has remarked that 'An ideal math talk should have one proof and one joke and they should not be the same'. — Ronald Graham Copy Share Image
![“At the time, it was a really funny joke [Fluffy] and I went back and forth with going against the joke or embrace it. I decided to embrace it and now we're talking about it, so it was a good call.” quote by Gabriel Iglesias](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/5f1/gabriel-iglesias-1974_back-and-forth_at-the-time-it-was-a-really-funny-joke-f_2164289.jpg)
