“This was another fossil of a joke. I couldn't remember where it'd come from, I had a horrible feeling it might have… — Alexis Hall Copy Share Image
My friends joke that I raised the Titanic and never left the Rockies. — Clive Cussler Copy Share Image
Implying women are too weak to take a joke is *implicitlty* sexist, and ridiculous. — Lisa Kennedy Montgomery Copy Share Image
Your mama is so fat, Al Bundy had no time to make a fat joke when she entered the store — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's easier to find the joke in something when you think, 'This - this is ridiculous.' — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
What if the government built this thing? I doubt it. Why? Cause it works. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Every vision is a joke until the first man accomplishes it; once realized, it becomes commonplace. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not interested in being the damsel in distress; I want someone who has her own storyline and her own mission -… — Eleanor Tomlinson Copy Share Image
“It’s not a joke if it’s not entirely clear. But most jokes play off of ambiguity and sudden juxtaposition, so a joke… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
I'm very wary of doing political stuff for a lot of reasons. One of the big ones is that the shelf-life for… — Tim Heidecker Copy Share Image
I think one of the funniest things about '30 Rock' is that Liz Lemon is sort of like Buster Keaton - she's… — Cristin Milioti Copy Share Image
Candidates should be extremely cautious in displaying a sense of humor. If he or she tells a joke with a point, there… — Jack Germond Copy Share Image
I was saying as a joke the other day that I love film editing, I know how to cut a picture, I… — Martin Scorsese Copy Share Image
The best advice he ever gave me was to keep it real, keep it simple. He was a big believer in not… — Andy Dick Copy Share Image
I'm the joke of the family with cooking because I've never done it - primarily because I've been surrounded by people who… — Emilia Fox Copy Share Image
Occasionally you get that one person that says "I really like that one part of this joke" and you go, "Oh thank… — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
I had one guy say, 'I watched your show and didn't agree with what you said.' And I'm like, 'It's a joke.… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
When a joke works, it works. It can make a point in a really simple way; it can be a great little… — Jon Lovett Copy Share Image
Now, some people do this for shock value. Shock is just another uptown word for surprise. Granted it has a different quality… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You can tell on-stage when a joke's starting to lose its pop. It doesn't mean people don't want to hear it anymore;… — Ron White Copy Share Image
Shaquille and I kind of joke we were the Christopher Columbus of social media. We're kind of out on a boat by… — Amy Jo Martin Copy Share Image
“There was once a man named Joe... Joe was insecure because he had no ears. Joe couldn’t hear a goddamn peep. And… — David Michael Miller Copy Share Image
It's when I make a joke about Indian people and then a white person comes up to me and says, "That's wrong.… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
“Sure, if you like the lovable sound of an asthma attack in your ear every time you tell a joke.” — Kiera Cass Copy Share Image
I always make a joke that they transplanted Martina McBride's eyes and put them in my head. — Blake Shelton Copy Share Image
Sometimes it's hard to tell if a joke is working or not for the first couple of minutes. — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Call me Meier," Goring said, but he did not pause to explain the joke . — Philip Jose Farmer Copy Share Image
I was raised in a family where no one had a serious bone in their body and every answer was a riddle,… — James Brolin Copy Share Image
Russell Crowe likes to tell jokes, which I can't. I can't remember a joke to save my life. I don't have a… — Rachel McAdams Copy Share Image
“No one has ever honestly said, “I hate that this joke exists, even though it’s clearly hilarious.” It” — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“Being bigheaded can be as irritating and as dangerous as being small-minded.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
It's called a joke. Just read it and laugh. Don't try to analyze it and take it literally. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“Don’t joke with that friend who stood by you when everyone else ran off.” — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
Guys joke with me that Milwaukee is one of the worst NBA cities, but I take pride in being from Milwaukee. — Kevon Looney Copy Share Image
That awkward moment, when your the only one still laughing at the joke from 10 minutes ago. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The casting directors that were aware of The Real World looked at me as a joke. It was so hard to get… — Jamie Chung Copy Share Image
