Chuck Klosterman

The only people who think the Internet is a calamity are people whose lives have been hurt by it; the only people…

— Chuck Klosterman

“I suppose we'll never know what really happened in that room, though he did tell police, "I did it because I'm a…

— Chuck Klosterman

Do you know people who insist they like 'all kinds of music'? That actually means they like no kinds of music.

— Chuck Klosterman

Let's say Twitter existed during the Civil War. We would have a better understanding of people in the Confederacy who were against…

— Chuck Klosterman

All my friends are rock critics, so we talk about rock criticism a lot. Because of that, in order to be part…

— Chuck Klosterman

If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus.

— Chuck Klosterman

But no matter how many times we re-rank the presidents, in another 200 years, the top presidents will still be Washington and…

— Chuck Klosterman

Different critics go to different lengths to disagree with that sentiment, but ultimately, they're the person experiencing this art, and whatever judgment…

— Chuck Klosterman

First, you must love yourself. And if you do that convincingly enough, others will love you too much.

— Chuck Klosterman

Anyone who claims to be good at lying is obviously bad at lying. Thus - as a writer myself - I cannot…

— Chuck Klosterman

“I care about strangers when they're abstractions but feel almost nothing when they are literally in front of me. They seem like…

— Chuck Klosterman

“Toby Keith writes songs like 1993's "Should've Been a Cowboy," and what's compelling is that you can't deconstruct its message. "Should've Been…

— Chuck Klosterman

Some say that time is like water that flows around us (like a stone in the river) and some say we flow…

— Chuck Klosterman

[On political correctness:] Any intended message mattered less than the received message, and every received message could be interpreted in whatever way…

— Chuck Klosterman

In baseball and sex, cliches are usually true: pitching beats hitting, and people always want to be loved by anyone who doesn't…

— Chuck Klosterman

A whole bunch of months passed and I didn't hear anything and then he emailed and asked if I could do a…

— Chuck Klosterman

“The single-biggest proof that the Dixie Chicks are Van Halen is their audience; they are singing to the same teenage boys, except…

— Chuck Klosterman

“Fake love is a very powerful thing.”

— Chuck Klosterman

“It starts from the premise that black connotes evil and death in all cultures and hopes to figure out if “these associations…

— Chuck Klosterman

The reason that people in the intellectual community argue that football is dangerous is because there's now a large swath of society…

— Chuck Klosterman

I think that most technology is positive in the short term, and negative in the long term. I wonder, if somebody looked…

— Chuck Klosterman

I also did an Ozzy piece for him, and so I got hired. Everything happened really fast. I can't give people advice,…

— Chuck Klosterman

“At the apex of Prince's career, I listened almost exclusively to metal. My sister actually purchased 'Purple Rain' on cassette, which I…

— Chuck Klosterman

Every generation is more influenced by technology, which is always changing faster.

— Chuck Klosterman

“Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin. If cavemen had known how to laugh, history would have been…

— Chuck Klosterman