Joke Quotes · Page 27

“Things stop being funny if you have to explain them to people, especially if they need excellent attention spans.”

— Santosh Kalwar

Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

— Alan Moore

“Balekin and Orlagh are planning your murder,” I say flustered. “Yes,” he says lazily. “So why did I wake at all?”

— Holly Black

“Nora & Patch: N:Is everything a joke to you? P:Not everything. N:Like what? P:You.”

— Becca Fitzpatrick

“The men who made the joke saw something deep which they could not express except by something silly and emphatic.”

— G.K. Chesterton

I think we are aware that post-racialism isn't real, right? I mean, I hope so. I kind of joke that we're post-post-racial.

— Justin Simien

It's not a joke, you could actually lose your life literally because you've got a dark skin. It's awful.

— Alison Hammond

“You can't take a crash course in comedy, there is no crash course in comedy.”

— Amit Kalantri

There's always been a quiet conversation and joke that if you're not hard, if you're not from impoverished neighborhoods, if you're not…

— Chance The Rapper

It's OK to joke about yourself and have self-perspective, but, like, when you constantly put yourself down to get other people to…

— Tove Lo

If the front-page news is a comedian doing a joke that people think is naughty, that proves there's no real news that…

— Russell Howard

It sometimes seemed to him that for love to work, it had to be fair, that he should tell only half the…

— Tao Lin

It's a bit embarrassing for a company to be exposed for wrongdoing, but it's really embarrassing if it's done by making them…

— Joe Lycett

I talk quite a lot in the changing room, try and joke around, keep the energy going, try to lift guys if…

— Moeen Ali

“Whenever He answers prayers, God usually prioritizes those by people who, instead of their mouths, have prayed with their hands and/or feet.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

There's a joke in the movie...it's got a fairytale ending, and this is a spoiler: Donald Trump does contract HIV. I think…

— Sacha Baron Cohen

A wise man once sat in the audience and cracked a joke. All laughed like crazy. After a moment, he cracked the…

— Ritu Ghatourey

There were 11 people ten men and one woman hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. They all decided…

— Mark

“I wish the Fallen would just come to us for a change.” Ironically, Fallen Angels dropped from the sky and surrounded us.…

— Laura Kreitzer

Seems i've crossed the line again for being nothing more than who I am. So, break my bones and throw your stones.…

— Shinedown

The audience today has heard every joke. They know every plot. They know where you're going before you even start. That's a…

— Betty White

It seems to me that humour is everybody's way of keeping sane and standing off from the situations so that they can…

— Diana Wynne Jones

I believe fully in making fun of children. I believe very strongly that you should never make fun of an embryo or…

— Kathy Griffin

I started reading about media moguls in general, and Sumner Redstone and Rupert Murdoch both made the same joke: they both were…

— Jesse Armstrong

I just don't like filming scenes where it's like, that's not how people talk. People aren't saying a joke every five seconds.

— Dave McCary

To me, music is not a stunt. Music is not a joke. I take every lick of music that I've ever played…

— Tim Commerford

I'm promoting positivity. I'm promoting happiness and loving yourself and having fun. But it's not a joke.

— Lil Yachty

My brand of humor is trying to play the situation as real as possible because I'm not the type of guy who…

— Dave Franco

“I had no job at the time and was living off the cruel joke I referred to as my savings.”

— David Sedaris

I've learned to say Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke in 6 languages.

— Nikhil Saluja

“A fraction of what you believe to be the truth always lies behind a joke”

— Deb Apodaca

Your pregnant is the only AprilFool joke you women got? Find a new joke cause that been played out years ago

— Deon Crockett

I sometimes say things for a joke, and they are picked up the wrong way.

— Brenda Fricker

When you're an older woman [in a movie] you tend to be in - how did you put it? You're the brunt…

— Jane Fonda

Even if you're not having a bad day, someone else is...sometimes, just saying a funny joke to them can make them better.

— Naquitta Faith

I tell stories. Because I believe you can do things that joke tellers can't do, and that is, bring your audience along.

— Bill Cosby

I have always noticed that deeply and truly religious persons are fond of a joke, and I am suspicious of those who…

— Alfred North Whitehead

This is the joke of me being a part of 'Lost': I haven't met three-quarters of that cast.

— Sonya Walger

I like to joke about being gay because it's something teenagers would never joke about.

— Bo Burnham

“Maybe real love is being able to ask, Do I have greens in my teeth?”

— Francine Prose