Whenever we're on the red carpet, we look like competition winners. It's a joke. — Dan Smith Copy Share Image
So, whenever Scooter was the Pilot, he never had a chance to fly the orbiter. So, the joke is: I'm going to… — Duane G. Carey Copy Share Image
There are certain types of stand-up, who are very successful, who do one type of joke, and never stray out of that.… — Sean Lock Copy Share Image
When you write something, at first you might feel very defensive and protective of every single thing, but after a while, you… — Edgar Wright Copy Share Image
“Your relationship or marriage is dead or dying, if you almost always have to remind your partner to miss you (and/or they… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I keep trying to write the crowd-pleasing slavery joke and the crowd-pleasing reparations joke, but any time you mention slavery or reparations… — W. Kamau Bell Copy Share Image
People said, 'What are you talking about? She's so small. What are you doing? This is a joke.' We didn't have the… — Sofia Kenin Copy Share Image
At nine, my mom used to tell me she saw an Olympic medalist in me. I used to take it as a… — Saina Nehwal Copy Share Image
When you're going for a joke, you're stuck out there if it doesn't work. There's nowhere to go. You've done the drum… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
“Never ever make a joke to the police, they have no sense of humour. Never make a political joke, it will always… — Dick Francis Copy Share Image
We all have, in my family, what we call the 'Vorderman bottom' - a sticky out, bigger-than-normal, signature, of the rear variety.… — Carol Vorderman Copy Share Image
We associate the North Atlantic with cod. The motto of Newfoundland used to be 'In cod we trust.' It was a joke,… — Simon Winchester Copy Share Image
“We seldom look up to the person; we usually look up to their persona.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, “My brother’s gone crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken.” And the psychiatrist says, “Have… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
I have this famous joke that I use: Why was God able to create Heaven and Earth in seven days and seven… — Brad D. Smith Copy Share Image
Somebody from Pitchfork Festival wanted me to have a Microphones reunion. It's a joke. It's just me. — Phil Elverum Copy Share Image
I think Noah Hawley's writing is hilarious, and I love a good dark joke. — Carrie Coon Copy Share Image
If mini skirts today get any shorter... women will have two more lips to paint, two more cheeks to powder, and a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have been recording every single one of my shows since 1994. Every single joke I've ever done is on a hard… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
I have Bob Dylan lyrics on my ribs. I'm a diehard Dylan fan, and my dad and I joke that if I… — Carly Chaikin Copy Share Image
I couldn't deliver a joke if you asked me to. It would have to be live and spontaneous. And that's what I… — Regis Philbin Copy Share Image
My preference is for people who can do sketch comedy or situational comedy, where it's not a joke, but it's telling a… — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
It was my first time to visit mister biggis that is selling AKAMU(PARP) & MAIZE. — Juniorjk Copy Share Image
I used to joke that I came to England - not to the U.S. where most Koreans go - because I like… — Ha-Joon Chang Copy Share Image
