Divorce is no joke and is painful for whatever reason it breaks down. — Sonja Morgan Copy Share Image
I love doing six versions of any joke, so if they'll give me six takes, I'd love to do it. — Ryan Reynolds Copy Share Image
Make up looks pretty on the outside but it doesnt help if you are ugly on the inside. Unless you can eat… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think Trump is terrible for comedy. A lot of people say he is great. He's not. You can't joke a joke. — Michelle Wolf Copy Share Image
“you've got to face facts and the fact is life is a joke, a fucking bad joke, or, no, a bad fucking… — Jeet Thayil Copy Share Image
My father was the kind of guy who'd always say 'Throw out any subject and I got a joke on it,' — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
The sassy black woman who can land a good joke was sort of my go-to audition. Or playing a struggling mother. — Danielle Brooks Copy Share Image
When you've been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don't know… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
You can't always be 100-percent positive that a joke will work, so you've just got to try it. Fortunately, if one new… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
When you're going for a joke, you're stuck out there if it doesn't work. There's nowhere to go. You've done the drum… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
When you tell somone you are going to kill them as a joke then you hear that the next day that person… — Thinkpinkbarbii Copy Share Image
Comedy needs to happen naturally and be in touch with the character. When you see that guy in your office that everybody… — Terry Crews Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night... we tried to joke but neither could make any sense. We realized that puns… — Marshall Ramsay Copy Share Image
My mom always liked the idea of us acting - me and my sister - like, one of us trying it. But… — Matt Prokop Copy Share Image
I joke, but only half joke, that if you show up in an American hospital missing a finger, no one will believe… — Abraham Verghese Copy Share Image
“Got something!" one of the men yelled. "Is it Mike?" another called, rushing from our sides. As everyone converged on the scene,… — Kelley Armstrong Copy Share Image
“I don’t like seeing you hit.” “Well, to be quite honest, I don’t like being hit unless it’s by you.” As soon… — Tammy Blackwell Copy Share Image
I always make a joke about this but it's true; Conor can make a highlight video of training hard and like, 'Alright… — Beneil Dariush Copy Share Image
Often, when you're in some of these writing rooms for... and the most restrictive is network television, right? They say, 'Wow, that's… — Jay Chandrasekhar Copy Share Image
“I am not a joke. I am not a riddle! I am not a bird or a cat or a penguin! I'm… — Tom King Copy Share Image
If someone in a work environment says a racist joke, I'm the kind of person who says, 'I'm sorry, I don't find… — David Schwimmer Copy Share Image
“Breeze chuckled. "He was completely insane, you know. The worse things got, the more he'd joke. I remember how chipper he was… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
“You guys like to tell jokes and giggle and kid around, huh? Giggling like a bunch of young broads in a school… — Quentin Tarantino Copy Share Image
Some comedy has turned into, 'Donald Trump's bad, isn't he?' That's a true statement. But where is your joke? — Michelle Wolf Copy Share Image
“I am a kind of joke, but the question is: which kind? My job is to keep everyone guessing.” — Gary Shteyngart Copy Share Image
If I can't joke about imminent death, then I might as well just resign. — James A. Owen Copy Share Image
The whole westward expansion myth is seen as romantic. But it's a joke, a blot on American history. — Frank Waters Copy Share Image
You can never guess what a kid's going to find funny - besides, you know, an obvious fart joke here and there. — Genndy Tartakovsky Copy Share Image
If I write a joke and it works, and it works consistently, that is gold to me. — Sarah Millican Copy Share Image
I'm not the type of person who thinks up a joke and has to tell everyone. — Samuel Larsen Copy Share Image
I think it gets uncomfortable when you try to act like you didn't just tell a joke that bombed. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It was that famous joke: What's the last thing the drummer said before he got kicked out of the band? 'Hey, I… — Dave Grohl Copy Share Image
There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them. — Werner Heisenberg Copy Share Image
Whether it's a highbrow thing or lowbrow. I'm never, ever going to leave a joke on the floor. — Robby Hoffman Copy Share Image
Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's. — Jonathan Tropper Copy Share Image
I think, in the media, Christians are the butt of every joke, or they are portrayed running around condemning everyone to Hell. — Sarah Drew Copy Share Image
