When sleep over at my place, you can have my bed .but not my Pillow I feel like you had to much… — Syntific Copy Share Image
When someone pitches a joke for a character that is just perfect, and you can imagine that actor reading that line at… — Michael Schur Copy Share Image
I thought I m in love, My nites going sleeples My days going useles So I askd GOD Is dis LOVE? God… — AB Copy Share Image
If I can't face my accusers, that's a joke. We did that in medieval times. — Lance Armstrong Copy Share Image
“Then the high king carefully turned the golden screw. Once: Nothing. Twice: Nothing. Then he turned it the third time, and the… — Patrick Rothfuss Copy Share Image
I go inside the Octagon for fight. I don't joke, because it's danger. — Anderson Silva Copy Share Image
Whenever my family brought up the topic of my marriage, I'd joke that I would marry only a princess. — S. Sreesanth Copy Share Image
A lot of comics aren't their on-screen personas; Chris Rock isn't always ranting and raving. What I do is make myself this… — Billy Eichner Copy Share Image
If I've got a black joke, and I can't tell it in Oakland, then I shouldn't tell the joke anywhere else. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
Being able to joke about my disability also gives me some control over it. — Alex Brooker Copy Share Image
We need more intellect and humor back on television, instead of the lowest common denominator of comedy - like the fart joke! — Eddie Griffin Copy Share Image
It's OK to joke about yourself and have self-perspective, but, like, when you constantly put yourself down to get other people to… — Tove Lo Copy Share Image
I know a way you could speak to your wife. Just wait 'till she's asleep and she'll listen to you without even… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always make a joke about this but it's true; Conor can make a highlight video of training hard and like, 'Alright… — Beneil Dariush Copy Share Image
I want someone that I can have fun with and laugh with. I love to laugh, and I'm really sarcastic, so it's… — Matt Lanter Copy Share Image
I think all actors, when they're not working, say, 'If I can get to this point where I'm working on a consistent… — Mike Colter Copy Share Image
If you want to devote yourself to the arts, you'd better do it strictly from passion, because there is zero guarantee that… — Richard Lewis Copy Share Image
There's so much positivity in the world and your day-to-day life that to go as far as to say that you hate… — Chance The Rapper Copy Share Image
“The answer to the question ‘How many children do you have?’ and the one to the question ‘How many children are you… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
The fine line between roaring with laughter and crying because it's a disaster is a very, very fine line. You see a… — Roald Dahl Copy Share Image
Like all women, I've had a pretty awful time in many ways, but it's always possible to either make a joke or… — Emma Tennant Copy Share Image
I was afraid no one would laugh, and I wanted to pretend I wasn't noticing the audience. I didn't want the audience… — Mort Sahl Copy Share Image
If you recall, we have a huge list of celebrities who had announced they'd leave the country if Trump won. It probably… — Milo Yiannopoulos Copy Share Image
