I am far from sure when I am acting and when I am not or, should I more frankly put it, when… — Laurence Olivier Copy Share Image
The Gerat Bald Swamp Hedgehog of Billericay displays, in courtship, his single prickle and does impressions of Holiday Inn desk clerks. Since… — Mike Harding Copy Share Image
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches, your Grace. That’s my motto.” — Melissa McPhail Copy Share Image
“Hello there," Inigo hollered when he could wait no more. The man in black glanced up and grunted. "I've been watching you."… — William Goldman Copy Share Image
In recent years, perhaps encouraged by competition from McDonald's, the British hamburger has become a credit to the nation. At the time… — Clive James Copy Share Image
I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
“Wait here, Miz Meg, and we'll holler when we're undressed and under the covers. We know it don't bother you seein' our… — Lorraine Heath Copy Share Image
“What these sounds mean, he thought, is: I am alive and so are you. And we’re all very worried that we might… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the… — Russell Beland Copy Share Image
“The "word" did not "offer itself" in a take-it-or-leave-it fashion, any more than Caesar's heralds would have said, "If you'd like a… — N.T. Wright Copy Share Image
"The twins no longer derive their sustenance from Nature's founts - in short," said Mr. Micawber, in one of his bursts of… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“SNEER. But, what the deuce, is the confidante to be mad too? PUFF. To be sure she is. The confidante is always… — Richard Brinsley Sheridan Copy Share Image
“When they figure out how to bottle up orgasms and sell them as a food additive, I'll be first in line.” — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
I love bald men. Just because you've lost your fuzz don't mean you ain't a peach. — Dolly Parton Copy Share Image
Well, I'm a bacteriologist, you know. I live in a nine-hundred-diameter microscope. I can hardly claim to take serious notice of anything… — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
The people of Halifax also invented the harmonium, a device for castrating pigs during Sunday service. — Mike Harding Copy Share Image
The place was so British, I wouldn't have been surprised if the mice wore monocles. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
“There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
PL/1, the fatal disease, belongs more to the problem set than to the solution set. — Edsger Dijkstra Copy Share Image
