“Chase had looked at the apartment—online—talked to the real estate agent—online—obtained references—online. Now, standing in the hallway, it was obvious he’d gotten… — Adrienne Wilder Copy Share Image
“I laugh when i'm hurt. I laugh when i'm confused. I laugh when i'm angry. I laugh because others will laugh as… — Damien Buerger Copy Share Image
“We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Monique bit at the side of lip. “He’s pretty active, I don’t want to impose…” Tony stood and scooped up the puppy.… — Kirsten Fullmer Copy Share Image
I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“A professional headshot in front of a bookshelf says you're an intellectual. A professional headshot peeking though a bookshelf says you're probably… — Ryan Lilly Copy Share Image
The sky was so clear that the starlight cast shadows, and so many sparkles and glitters and glints appeared above us that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“And here is my sweet little Annamaria,’ she added, tenderly caressing a little girl of three years old, who had not made… — Jane Austen Copy Share Image
“You’re practically begging for it, aren’t you?” he murmured. “No.” His chuckle rasped over her senses. “I like begging, Reagan.” “I’m not… — Kelly Jamieson Copy Share Image
“A woman calls from Seaview to say her linen closet is missing. Last September, her house had six bedrooms, two linen closets.… — Chuck Palahniuk Copy Share Image
“You came up this gut-wrenching road yesterday by yourself?" Cassie exclaimed. "You deserve a good cuffing just for driving this goat path… — H.H. Laura Copy Share Image
One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible from one end to the other. Reading… — John W. Gardner Copy Share Image
“Breeze strolled over to the table and chose a seat with his characteristic decorum. The portly man raised his dueling cane, pointing… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
I have often been downcast, but never in despair; I regard our hiding as a dangerous adventure, romantic and interesting at the… — Anne Frank Copy Share Image
Until I became a parent, I thought children just naturally knew how to catch a ball, that catching was an instinctive biological… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Liberace was certainly master and commander of the ivories ~ he is the only pianist I can watch or listen to without… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I once bought my producer a case of Mountain Dew, his favorite soda, as a thank you for all he'd done for… — John Bennardo Copy Share Image
Swearing relieves the feelings - that is what swearing does. I explained this to my aunt on one occasion, but it didn't… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life: ~people applaud you incessantly.… — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
The two real political parties in America are the Winners and the Losers. The people don't acknowledge this. They claim membership in… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
“It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively;… — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
You know how it is with some girls. They seem to take the stuffing right out of you. I mean to say,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
An emotional man may possess no humor, but a humorous man usually has deep pockets of emotion, sometimes tucked away or forgotten. — Constance Rourke Copy Share Image
“I'm OK with being single, but I'm not OK when the time comes where I have to move my furniture around and… — Hiroko Sakai Copy Share Image
“You need to relax and be yourself, not whoever it is you’re trying to be in your mad little head. I bloody… — Nick Harkaway Copy Share Image
[Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is the opinion of the present reviewer that the weakness of plot is… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
I guess the more serious you play something, if the context is funny, then it will be funny and it doesn't really… — Jesse Eisenberg Copy Share Image
Show me a young Conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old Liberal and I'll show you… — Winston Churchill Copy Share Image
“Most sane human beings who are over the age of six usually act or react not as per what they genuinely feel… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Still trying to save the world?” “Always,” I said, “and in case you haven’t noticed, it’s working. The world is still here.” — Nicole Williams Copy Share Image
It is great fun dying in the United States of America. It is great fun first of all for the undertakers who… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
The male - I have found - is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to… — Jilly Cooper Copy Share Image
Playing on stereotypes was meant to be humorous. If it doesn't tickle you in certain spots, it's not going to be funny.… — Manila Luzon Copy Share Image
All my life I've been terrible at remembering people's names. I once introduced a friend of mine as Martini. Her name was… — Tallulah Bankhead Copy Share Image
“Because he has finally realized that it is it and not him that is loved by the woman he loves, many a… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Some women have kissed—and some are kissing—a lot of frogs, even though the very first man that they have each kissed was… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Some people hate people who are overconfident, only because their overconfidence reminds them of their underconfidence.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
![“[Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is the opinion of the present reviewer that the weakness of plot is due to the great number of characters which clutter up the pages. The Russian school is responsible for this.” quote by Robert Benchley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/36e/robert-benchley-2562_answering-machines_reviewing-the-new-york-city-telephone-di_1763236.jpg)
