“You’re a terrible woman Nox, but by the stars I love you beyond words themselves,” — K. K Weakley Copy Share Image
“College = A place where you spend a ton of money for a piece of paper that says you're qualified.” — Korey Miracle Copy Share Image
If you appeal to the crowd, either by being humorous or brutal or eccentric, you gain favor. — Suzanne Collins Copy Share Image
“Awoke to find three vultures sitting on the fence. Realizing they were a portent of impending death I shot them.” — Bridget Allison Copy Share Image
But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go! — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Being able to write a tale within a Tweet some would say was mighty sweet” — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
But I'm saying we are loosing the people who are going to pay my social security. And that bothers me. — Joycelyn Elders Copy Share Image
When you really boil it down, what comedy does is you expect one thing, and you get a totally different thing that's… — Zoe Quinn Copy Share Image
“Not nearly as incredible as hearing you scream when you came. Good thing you took Cassie home. She might think I was… — Kallypso Masters Copy Share Image
After the war, Prohibition was passed, and with liquor no longer legally available the nation plunged headlong into the Great Depression. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Democrats are going to change the name of the Hoover Dam. That is the silliest thing I ever heard of in… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
“I'm going to have to give him shit for all this,' Shane said, as he wandered around. 'He lives alone and makes… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
Cigarette companies market heavily to young people. They need young customers because their product kills the older ones. It is the only… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of… — Alice Walker Copy Share Image
Jim Rosato was recently married, to a Greek nurse. Rosato was half Irish and half Italian, and there was a pool on… — Warren Ellis Copy Share Image
If there is not laughter in intimacy, it becomes heavy, burdensome, and dull. At my best moments, the love dialogue I try… — Andrew Greeley Copy Share Image
“A cupcake temple?' Her chest still tight with anxiety, Bertie forced herself to imagine it: bricks of pound cake mortared with buttercream… — Lisa Mantchev Copy Share Image
Love has been taken away from the poets, and has been brought within the domain of true science. It may prove to… — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
“Of course I can read", he said. "Jesus Christ." "Well, then, what are you trying to tell me? That you don't want… — Rainbow Rowell Copy Share Image
I feel that nasal spray is a wondrous medical achievement, because it is supposed to relieve nasal congestion, and by gadfrey, it… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“It was as if God himself saw that my intention was to make my outer self match my inner fabulosity and didn't… — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
I was a Teletype operator in the army, so that's where I learned to type. One day, I went downstairs to see… — Carl Reiner Copy Share Image
“Who's going to take care of it? You?. . . Son, you came in the house yesterday with sh*t on your hands.… — Justin Halpern Copy Share Image
If all else fails immortality can always be assured by adequate error. — John Kenneth Galbraith Copy Share Image
“You have exactly 10 seconds to change that look of disgusting pity, into one of enormous respect!” — Max Bialystock Copy Share Image
A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange! — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
As I get older and write more books I'm definitely allowing the humorous side of my personality more rein in my work. — Colson Whitehead Copy Share Image
We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . . — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
“Lovely, not only did the truck look like it was on its last leg, it was going to take the environment with… — Adrienne Wilder Copy Share Image
This looks like one of those unwelcome social summonses which call upon a man either to be bored or to lie. — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
Communist until you get rich, feminist until you get married, atheist until the airplane starts falling — Juanda Brahma Metta Copy Share Image
“I can see into your heart. You have good intentions. You can’t go wrong when you start with good intentions.” — Linda Armstrong Copy Share Image
The Democrats planned to fiddle while Rome burned. The Republicans were going to burn Rome, then fiddle. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Shut up, you fool...Really. I’m running out of things to throw at you.” — K.M. Parr Copy Share Image
“I'm more of a dog person. But I admire cats and their ability to take so much while giving so little.” — Jeri Smith-Ready Copy Share Image
“Miss Green can call a turd a rose if she wants, but that don't mean people's going to be lining up to… — K. Martin Beckner Copy Share Image
The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead. — Marilyn Monroe Copy Share Image
Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it. — George Burns Copy Share Image
“We are flawed creatures with explosive feelings that subconsciously aspire to be non-violent sociopaths.” — Jayme K Copy Share Image
