Canada, as you know, is a major important nation boasting a sophisticated, cosmopolitan culture that was tragically destroyed last week by beavers. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The notion of a record is an obsolete remnant of the days of the 80-column card. — Dennis Ritchie Copy Share Image
But instead I am applying for a job as an elf. Even worse than applying is the very real possibility that I… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“It seems - and who so astonished as they? - that they had held back material facts; that they were guilty of… — Rudyard Kipling Copy Share Image
“There is no competition in work. Many a man wants glory but fails to work.” — Lailah Gifty Akita Copy Share Image
The real Oxford is a close corporation of jolly, untidy, lazy, good-for-nothing humorous old men, who have been electing their own successors… — C. S. Lewis Copy Share Image
“Adults who use big words in order to seem intelligent are annoying, especially those who are not intelligent.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“ Aw, kiss him, Gwen, clamored a hundred perky eggs. Shut up, she rebuked. We don't even know him, and until moments… — Karen Marie Moning Copy Share Image
It seems that Canada's historic mission is to come to the selfless aid both of its friends and of complete strangers, and… — Kevin Myers Copy Share Image
You can only govern men by serving them. The rule is without exception. — Victor Kiam Copy Share Image
“Being able to write a tale within a Tweet some would say was mighty sweet” — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“I didn't feel strong. I felt like a big ball of wuss that wanted to curl up in my bed and never… — Diane Castle Copy Share Image
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. — Flannery O'Connor Copy Share Image
I'm not saying that women don't think about sex also. I'm saying that women are capable, for at least brief periods of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Many, many of you have written to me asking the following question: 'Dave, have their been any new advancements in the field… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Time flies when you're falling down"...(not from a book, it's a lyric)” — Courtney Love Copy Share Image
Cultivate a sense of humour. From a humorous point of view this lunch is rather good. — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
“You are an old pig!'one of them said to the other. 'And that is worse than being a young one.” — Ivan Turgenev Copy Share Image
“Nixon’s offences had been so long in the past, so much part of a different era that he now seemed like some… — Jacob M. Appel Copy Share Image
The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The most ethical administration in the history of the Republic. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
