Humor Quotes by Vivian Vande Velde

Those Grimm brothers," she said with a sigh, "they'll never amount to anything." And she was right because all they ever became was writers.

— Vivian Vande Velde

Then, early, early, early in the morning-just as in countless Disney films-I heard a rooster crow. But guess what? They don't do it just…

— Vivian Vande Velde

The wolf sniffed beneath the door to be sure this was a human cottage. The scent was undeniable. No pigs, except in bacon form.…

— Vivian Vande Velde

Number one rule for fiction: Coincidence can be used to worsen a characters predicament, but never to solve his problems.

— Vivian Vande Velde

“That's very kind of you," she said bitterly, for she no longer believed in kindness. "And you're willing to do this...why? Because you're fond…

— Vivian Vande Velde

“And there was this sweet-looking little old lady with her white hair in a bun and everything, the typical grandmother type, and she was…

— Vivian Vande Velde

There, close enough to spit on--if I'd been a barbarian and inclined to spit--was the dragon.

— Vivian Vande Velde

A [reformed] vampire ... mostly tries to make reparation for his previous evil by doing good deeds-most commonly, apparently, going into the crime solving business.

— Vivian Vande Velde

“Number one rule for fiction: Coincidence can be used to worsen a character’s predicament, but never to solve his problems.”

— Vivian Vande Velde

She sighed. Loudly. "Physical appearance is not what is important." Yeah right. Tell that to any girl who hasn't bothered to put on a…

— Vivian Vande Velde

Giannine--What are they going to do: smack me on the head with a pamplet?

— Vivian Vande Velde