“Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write… — Lili St. Crow Copy Share Image
“Of course we had hoped that he would take up his sword as part of the President's war on poetry. The time… — Donald Barthelme Copy Share Image
“The grin on his face wasn’t the affable, friendly sort; instead, it was the sociopathic rictus of the irretrievably, bug-fuckeringly insane” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
I was ballet dancing at four, playing piano by six, and doing commercials by 12. When I was 21, I was on… — Roselyn Sanchez Copy Share Image
“No matter how old you are when a kid shoots you with a toy gun it is necessary that you pretend to… — Joshua Siranjofu Copy Share Image
“Like they’d never seen a hot professor before. You made quite an impression in your turtleneck.” “Ah, yes, the turtleneck. Turtles have… — Sylvain Reynard Copy Share Image
“Is he about to kiss me? Did he eat garlic too or was I the only one? 'Cause if Ric didn't eat… — Zathyn Priest Copy Share Image
We will keep a commitment to pluralism and not discriminate for or against Methodist or Mormons or Muslims or good people with… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
A comedy can actually get funnier and funnier. Even though you know the joke, you enjoy it so much, it's the facial… — Eli Roth Copy Share Image
“It always pisses me off when I’m calling in to some Morning Zoo radio show to promote God-only-knows what—probably this book, so… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
Tempted to type meaningless twaddle all the time on Twitter...with alliteration, no less! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Yes. Unfortunately, I've become so irrevocably obsessed with the little muse that I'm surviving on the mere hope of being able to… — Rina Kent Copy Share Image
“What's a flange?" asked Marcia. A what?" A flange. It says here attatch piece Y to the long, upright D, taking care… — Angie Sage Copy Share Image
In high drama or high tragedy or anything, it's not really human unless there's some humor at the same time. And vice… — Rebecca Hall Copy Share Image
As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you… — Adam Ferrara Copy Share Image
It is a difficult thing to like anybody else's ideas of being funny. — Gertrude Stein Copy Share Image
“The baloney weighed the raven down, and the shopkeeper almost caught him as he whisked out the delicatessen door.” — Peter S. Beagle Copy Share Image
But sometimes it's good to dare yourself to do the unthinkable. And rather than stand in front of an audience with no… — Evan Davis Copy Share Image
“I don't respect thinking that is dangerous, prejudicial, childish, and could get me killed.” — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Me: I think we should have sex again. Royce: Bad idea. Me: Why? Royce: I want more from you than sex. Me:… — Gena Showalter Copy Share Image
“To pass the time, I made valiant strides in my effort to read Ulysses, but feared I was losing the war. A… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
I'm staying in a lovely hotel, dressing robe behind the door, lovely fluffy sheets - took me a half an hour getting… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I love to play strippers and to imitate them. I love using that idea for comedy, but the idea of actually going… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
