“Folk wisdom: quaint sayings of urban sophisticates compiled from the suburbs.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Then, once he had eaten, he would ask the spirits for guidance. Their guidance was pretty useless, but the company would be… — Joe Abercrombie Copy Share Image
“Between the whiskers scraggling down his neck and the now-crooked glasses, he could have been the Black Allen Ginsberg.” — Garth Risk Hallberg Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I still haven't found the humor in getting hit by a cement truck. My knees still hurt when I think about it,… — Adam DeVine Copy Share Image
There's a guy in the audience with a distinctive laugh. I hope that guy is miked. The only problem with having a… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Comedy comes from childhood only. The humour genes you are born with remain with you. I was always making mischief and making… — Johnny Lever Copy Share Image
“As many as thirty or as few as ten years later, lying exhausted and still, eyes open in the dark long after… — Mary Doria Russell Copy Share Image
I think I'm one of those guys who was sort of always in comedy. I thought of myself - and other people… — Andy Daly Copy Share Image
“And I’d have you know, through all of it, I still had perfect nails! Because I am completely swell.” — Sarah Scheele Copy Share Image
“My sister, Judy, has always said that she would like to lie in state, propped up in her coffin with her eyes… — Jill Conner Browne Copy Share Image
I went to Dartmouth College so simply by being an Indian-American woman, I was already so statistically interesting. And then the fact… — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
Give women the vote, and in five years there will be a crushing tax on bachelors. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
I like jokes and one-liners. I enjoy entertaining and making people laugh, being the funny man. But when I'm launched into unfamiliar… — Keith Flint Copy Share Image
“We have just witnessed a classic example of what I like to call 'misdirected rage.' I believe the technical term is 'being… — Takaya Natsuki Copy Share Image
Janet Mock's honest and sometimes searing journey is a rare and important look into la vida liminal, one that she manages to… — Raquel Cepeda Copy Share Image
“Jerry thought about what a letter of recommendation from a council of wizards would look like in his resume file. "Totally secret,"… — Rick Cook Copy Share Image
“A lot of the nonsense was the innocent result of playfulness on the part of the founding fathers of the nation of… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Thank God (my wife) and I were both born poor so the concept of fidelity was allowed to take root in us.” — Allan Wolf Copy Share Image
If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made broccoli a lot more fun to hunt! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Technology can't eliminate the need for people going to want to go out and see theater and standup comedy. — Tom Green Copy Share Image
