“You know, the first two, I probably should've seen coming. The leprechaun costume? Not so much.” — Rich Burlew Copy Share Image
“The vampire who lived here was either a total loser or really liked the monster image. Really, if he couldn't be a… — Caroline Hanson Copy Share Image
I'm sure I've all but lost friends by maintaining that, despite their love for it, I always saw Stanley Kramer's 'It's a… — Dick Cavett Copy Share Image
To the two secrets to a long-lasting happy marriage: Here's to good sense of humor - and a short memory! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“As it was a time of war between the Catholics and the Huguenots, and as he saw the Catholics exterminate the Huguenots… — Alexandre Dumas Copy Share Image
I think comedy in the last 5-7 years is as good as it's ever been in America. I like it when people… — Peter Farrelly Copy Share Image
“Before I had kids, I always found it funny how people would talk about their children like they were the cutest things… — Jennifer Miller Copy Share Image
“Young people are swaddled in delusion. You think you are more awesome than you are, the world more interested in you than… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
We can't let the terrorists win. No matter how softly we toss the ball to them, they miss it every time. — John Alejandro King Copy Share Image
“You surprise me, Hastings. Do you not know that all celebrated detectives have brothers who would be even more celebrated than they… — Agatha Christie Copy Share Image
“He crouched at the care window and looked in. "What a lovely family you have. What a charming family. They're all lovely.… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
My mother was always the one with the dark, really filthy sense of humor. She was a vulgar woman. She used to… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
“Shall I check into convenient spots to bury a body?' 'You never know when a nice soft piece of ground may be… — Claudia J. Edwards Copy Share Image
“Readers will recall that the little evidence collected seemed to point to the strange and confusing figure of an unidentified Air Force… — J.G. Ballard Copy Share Image
“The notion of children makes me ill. The thought of having one... when you see those guys in the supermarket, wheeling the… — John Niven Copy Share Image
“Of all the things God created, from sunrises and rainbows, to black holes and humor, cats are the most fascinating to me. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I've always had these fantasies about being in a normal family in which the parents come to town and their adult daughter… — Sarah Vowell Copy Share Image
“Here are the Top Ten things that your parents say to you: -Is that all you're going to do all day, sit… — Charles Benoit Copy Share Image
I was never really comfortable doing comedy. Though it was good the first couple of years, there were problems, and it became… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
