“A week after Fred and George's departure, Harry witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves, who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier,… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
“...You see I believe in that stuff to: yoga and mystical powers. I once knew a man who could kill himself on… — Roman Payne Copy Share Image
“Ish #1 "It's not your mama's macaroni and cheese if you used spaghetti noodles.” — Regina Griffin Copy Share Image
Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you. — Herbert Beerbohm Tree Copy Share Image
“There are of course many problems connected with life, of which some of the most popular are Why are people born? Why… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“Laughter clears the atmosphere and it gives liberty to every soul.” — Euginia Herlihy Copy Share Image
Talking Heads were a big influence on my comedy. For David Byrne, every album had to be different. With 'Portlandia,' every season… — Fred Armisen Copy Share Image
“Soy cappuccino,’ I growled, while doing as instructed. ‘I should have known you were evil.” — Maria Lewis Copy Share Image
I don't know that I have a single comedy philosophy. But talking about things that matter to you is a good place… — Ted Alexandro Copy Share Image
Apparently they're going to bring in 'Super Asbos'. But 'Asbos' already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour.… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
“The irony of being ignored by someone is that it means you have been noticed by that person first. Take heart you… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
“Well finish your story anyway." Where was I?" The bubonic plague. The bulldozer was stalled by corpses." Oh, yes. Anyway, one sleepless… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
Observe it, the vulgar often laugh, but never smile, whereas well-bred people often smile, and seldom or never laugh. A witty thing… — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
I loved 'Penny Spubbs' and 'We Are Klang,' maybe because I watched them before I started comedy so it was a purer… — Lou Sanders Copy Share Image
“It must be horny douchebag day,” she mumbled under her breath as she slid the bag’s strap up on her shoulder.” — Dennis Sharpe Copy Share Image
“My mouth was dry as cotton and my head hurt like hell. I tried to lift it, and the effort left me… — Charlaine Harris Copy Share Image
Since 'The Office,' everyone has this idea that comedy is only good if it reflects the way people really speak. But that's… — Lee Mack Copy Share Image
