Keeping house is as unpleasant and filthy as coal mining, and the pay's a lot worse. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In the wake of Animal House, the stock briefly and quite wrongly shot up. So I love that movie. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The most futuristic aspect of the House of the Future was that it was made almost entirely of plastic. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
No Americans wants to see somebody lose their house because of health bills. Their boat? Maybe. Maybe the boat. But not the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In the wake of Animal House, all of us at the Lampoon had a lot of Hollywood opportunities. We could definitely get… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I'm not sure about the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Disney's House of the Future had the clean simplicity prized in the 1950s as relief from decades of frayed patchwork, jury-rigging, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A cocktail party is what you call it when you invite everyone you know to come over to your house at six… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Government usually doesn't work. It doesn't work because it is political. People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The real slums are another matter. The bad parts of Tondo are as bad as any place I've seen, ancient, filthy houses… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
