Fire up your heart for the wind is getting cold, now it always gets cold for the riders of the night. When… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge made that critical leap from 'be afraid' to 'be very afraid,' raising the terrorist threat level to… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Isn't that what you really want in a jean? The ability to kick people in the face in them? I don't wanna… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
All I'm saying is [John McCain] cannot look a soldier in the eye and say "Questioning the president is less supportive to… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The Department of Homeland Security recommends a three-day supply of water consisting of one bottle per day for each person in your… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
In case you're wondering what we all do here during the commercial breaks, mostly we just sit around making catty remarks about… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
After going to war against the U.N.'s expressed wishes, the U.S. is now admitting it needs the U.N.'s help. It's the geopolitical… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
In my head, thought, I would love to do an interview where it's just sort of de-constructed - the talking points of… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The real challenge is when I'm at work, I'm at work. I'm locked in, I'm ready to go, I'm focused. When I'm… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
![“All I'm saying is [John McCain] cannot look a soldier in the eye and say "Questioning the president is less supportive to you than extending your tour three months." You should be coming home to your family.” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/452/jon-stewart-455_coming-home_all-i-m-saying-is-john-mccain-cannot-loo_1052310.jpg)
