You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
There's no such thing, of course, as an old-fashioned gay guy. They're the most decadent people. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what's the guy even… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Ever see this? It's a homeless guy but he's got a dog... The dog's really thrilled with this idea. The dog's going,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
You ever hear guys with small cocks talk about sex? Can't talk about it enough. They even got poems. They'll say, 'It's… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
If you're looking for the suspect in a suicide bombing, here's a clue: Look for the dead guy. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television.… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I don't really like doing big stand-up. Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up.… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I just got back from New York. You ever been there? There was a big gay parade going on there when I… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I don't like sports where it's like, you watch a guy on a motorcycle flip or something, then another guy does it,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
With the computer and stuff, the difference between a rich guy and a poor guy, to me, is nothing. Because I don't… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
It's tough to know who's better in cliff diving. Like, you see a guy diving off a cliff and you go, Oh,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
In theatres, you're kind of disconnected. Also, it's way too big for the likes of me. Unless you're Robin Williams or someone that can… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
So much in L.A. is waiting. It's so irritating. That's what's good about stand-up. You can go away, and you don't have to sit… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
You ever hear guys with small cocks talk about sex? Can't talk about it enough. They even got poems. They'll say, 'It's not the… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
![“Louis [C.K.] is great. But I don't know how many you could do.” quote by Norm MacDonald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/b78/norm-macdonald-1825_know-how_louis-c-k-is-great-but-i-don-t-know-how_138817.jpg)
