I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Many people are skeptical about marriage of Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Pressley. They say, Lisa Marie is more of a sit… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I was in my peak physical condition when I was about like, uh... one. Oh God, I looked good, young and fresh!… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
If it wasn't so pointless and ridiculous, it would be more humiliating. Also, if there [Hollywood] weren't so many people as bad… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I just hate plugs. It just doesn't seem entertaining to me. I've never plugged anything in my life on a talk show… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
There are these showcase clubs where 14 guys will go on in a row and people are laughing at everything, and I'm… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I hate fame. I hate being recognized, because I don't know how to talk to people. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
You're trying your best to make people laugh; then if you fail, they hate you. But your intent's the same. It's not… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it's very hard for me to do… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I have a little bit of an out-of-body experience where I enjoy the scenario, and I really do like seeing a crowd… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
There's no such thing, of course, as an old-fashioned gay guy. They're the most decadent people. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
It is the folly of weak-minded people, to imagine they are what flattery or conceit represents them; and that it is useless… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I had a show that people thought used a laugh track. It wasn't; it was the real audience going crazy after everything… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I don't really like doing big stand-up. Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up.… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
A lot of people think I'm difficult to work with. It's not like I really want to do that much stuff, so… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
In theatres, you're kind of disconnected. Also, it's way too big for the likes of me. Unless you're Robin Williams or someone that can… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
So much in L.A. is waiting. It's so irritating. That's what's good about stand-up. You can go away, and you don't have to sit… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
You ever hear guys with small cocks talk about sex? Can't talk about it enough. They even got poems. They'll say, 'It's not the… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image