My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I was in my peak physical condition when I was about like, uh... one. Oh God, I looked good, young and fresh!… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
If you watch that show and you didn't know it was called Seinfeld, you'd think it was called 'The George Costanza Show'. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I hate fame. I hate being recognized, because I don't know how to talk to people. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
There's that saying, "I don't know art, but I know what I like." The inverse is kind of true. I know art,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Actually, with those dirty movies, I find like, they're good for about fifteen, twenty minutes. I'm really interested. And, then, uh, there's… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
It's tough to know who's better in cliff diving. Like, you see a guy diving off a cliff and you go, Oh,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
They're like ''You're an alcoholic.'' I go ''No, I'm not.'' and then-apparently that's what alcoholics say too, you know? — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
This is a thing I read by a scientist... it said scientists now say that a man thinks about sex once every… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Women of no beauty may yet be flattered to believe they possess some; others of a moderate share that they have a… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Man, them engagement rings, boy, they cost a lot. I was looking at 'em. Cost like a thousand bucks, two thousand bucks,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
In theatres, you're kind of disconnected. Also, it's way too big for the likes of me. Unless you're Robin Williams or someone that can… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
So much in L.A. is waiting. It's so irritating. That's what's good about stand-up. You can go away, and you don't have to sit… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
You ever hear guys with small cocks talk about sex? Can't talk about it enough. They even got poems. They'll say, 'It's not the… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
![“Louis [C.K.] is great. But I don't know how many…” quote by Norm MacDonald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/b78/norm-macdonald-1825_know-how_louis-c-k-is-great-but-i-don-t-know-how_138817.jpg)
