In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That's how you know who the best player is. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it's inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I don't really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it's inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I sort of try to write everything for me. I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
It's tough to know who's better in cliff diving. Like, you see a guy diving off a cliff and you go, Oh,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I don't like sports where it's like, you watch a guy on a motorcycle flip or something, then another guy does it,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I don't care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
In theatres, you're kind of disconnected. Also, it's way too big for the likes of me. Unless you're Robin Williams or someone that can… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
So much in L.A. is waiting. It's so irritating. That's what's good about stand-up. You can go away, and you don't have to sit… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
You ever hear guys with small cocks talk about sex? Can't talk about it enough. They even got poems. They'll say, 'It's not the… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image