Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Some men mistake generosity for charity: these flatter themselves that they are giving gratuitously, whilst they are merely rewarding secret services offered… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
A proper disposition of time leaves a man at leisure in the very bustle of affairs; without delaying the attention of his… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
It's tough to know who's better in cliff diving. Like, you see a guy diving off a cliff and you go, Oh,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Education makes some men wiser, others more ridiculous and foolish! — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
This is a thing I read by a scientist... it said scientists now say that a man thinks about sex once every… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
A man's enemies are those he should endeavor first to make his friends. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Man, them engagement rings, boy, they cost a lot. I was looking at 'em. Cost like a thousand bucks, two thousand bucks,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
In theatres, you're kind of disconnected. Also, it's way too big for the likes of me. Unless you're Robin Williams or someone that can… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
So much in L.A. is waiting. It's so irritating. That's what's good about stand-up. You can go away, and you don't have to sit… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
You ever hear guys with small cocks talk about sex? Can't talk about it enough. They even got poems. They'll say, 'It's not the… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
![“Louis [C.K.] is great. But I don't know how many…” quote by Norm MacDonald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/b78/norm-macdonald-1825_know-how_louis-c-k-is-great-but-i-don-t-know-how_138817.jpg)
