There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
The only two TV shows I saw do that, where they don't warm them up and you can really bomb, was Saturday… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
All kinds of violence on the TV. You're not supposed to watch violence on the TV. Children, they can't watch it 'cause… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
OJ Simpson was in a different kind of courtroom this week attempting to regain custody of his two children. In order to… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
It's tough to know who's better in cliff diving. Like, you see a guy diving off a cliff and you go, Oh,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Man, them engagement rings, boy, they cost a lot. I was looking at 'em. Cost like a thousand bucks, two thousand bucks,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
In theatres, you're kind of disconnected. Also, it's way too big for the likes of me. Unless you're Robin Williams or someone that can… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
So much in L.A. is waiting. It's so irritating. That's what's good about stand-up. You can go away, and you don't have to sit… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
You ever hear guys with small cocks talk about sex? Can't talk about it enough. They even got poems. They'll say, 'It's not the… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
![“The only two TV shows I saw do that, where they don't warm them up and you can really bomb, was Saturday Night Live - and that's why it gets a lot of heat, too. Obviously it gets criticism fairly, too. But a lot of it is because Lorne [Michaels] lets the audience decide and doesn't force them to…” quote by Norm MacDonald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/50b/norm-macdonald-1825_audience_the-only-two-tv-shows-i-saw-do-that-wher_1452471.jpg)
![“Louis [C.K.] is great. But I don't know how many you could do.” quote by Norm MacDonald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/b78/norm-macdonald-1825_know-how_louis-c-k-is-great-but-i-don-t-know-how_138817.jpg)
