Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving. Cop: Sir have you been drinking? Man: No. Cop: Papers. Man: Scissors, I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Honey, you're getting Adele. - How I told my Girl friend she's getting fat. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know you're addicted to Call of Duty when you go to work, take your boss's suitcase, make beeping sounds, and then… — Alec Straub Copy Share Image
Since today is Valentine's day, I was wondering if you'd like to go back to MySpace, so I can Twitter with your… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when my parents never let me go anywhere and then ask me why I'm always on the computer. — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
Why do we call it truth or dare when we all know it's really Who do you like or Awkward sexual task. — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
Earlier I used to feel like a guy trapped inside a woman's body. Especially during the first nine months. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Bitches b like long hair dont care known damn well they shit shorter than a Instagram video — IG:Catone_2funny Copy Share Image
It's hard for me to say I love you because the word you isn't beer or sex or football. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I tryed to get you back... I held on as long as I could... But its time for me to let you… — Patrick Thomas Copy Share Image
Why is there a show called When animals attack? It should be called When stupid people go near dangerous animals. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
LOL at the stupid girls who think they're boyfriend is faithful when they're phone says Inbox Empty — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only reason women need men around the house is because we haven't made a vibrator that can kill spiders. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Facebook is so curious,anytime I tell him what's on my mind,he still asks me that question again and again. — Anita Cobblah Copy Share Image
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your at the club and the women next to you sings along with the song and says I… — Raul Vasquez Copy Share Image
Seeing a cute couple end their relationship is like watching the ending of every Nicholas Spark movie. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Deja Vu is when God thinks something is so funny, that he has to rewind it to show it to his friends. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My wife just told me, You're fucking idiot considering as she's the only woman I love, then yes, it's a fair assumption. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My excuse for being lazy: I'm not the real slim shady, so why would I stand up? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you want to find a prince, you're supposed to kiss a frog. Not f*ck the whole pond. — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
