Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 102

HUSBAND, FAITHFUL, That man who is married to a trusting wife (a definition that can be either truthful or cynical)

— Nikhil Saluja

Our generation doesn't ring the doorbell. We text or call to say we're outside.

— Punkinhead Abhishek

That's my dick. Not my arm.

— Nikhil Saluja

I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in.

— Anonymous

K is the shortest way to spell FUCK YOU !

— Nikhil Saluja

Niggas be wanting a girl who plays video games, watch sports & wear jordan's. Sounds like you want a boyfriend bro ahah...;)

— Me

I hate it when I do something like a ninja and there is nobody around to see!

— Nikhil Saluja

Now, Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.

— Nikhil Saluja

Tears running down my face like rain, who would have ever thought that love would come with so much pain.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, that emotion which is not true until returned;

— Nikhil Saluja

TIP...(Ladies)...neva kill yaself ova a dude cause that same dude would bring his new girl 2 ur funeralª

— IG:catone_2_funny

When all else fails, admit I'm right and kiss my ass.

— Ritu Ghatourey

I'm not saying she was stupid, but I asked her how to spell Mississippi and she said 'the river or the state?'

— Anonymous

I'll be ready in 5 minutes is exactly the same as I'll be home in 5 minutes.

— Ewshy

LMS not Like My Status, but Like My Shit

— Jawon Stewwert

Its 2014 n still FB dint give us the option to tell that sitting on commode

— MOHAMMAD

I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.

— Anonymous

I got expelled from the public library for putting all the 'Women's Rights' books in the fiction section.

— Anonymous

There are only 2 things wrong in family reunion. The family thing & The reunion thing.

— Nikhil Saluja

Weights & Measures: 2 Monograms = 1 Diagram

— Nikhil Saluja

I feel like Tony the Tiger whenever I see breasts because They're more than good, They're great!!!

— Prince Shawn

Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading…

— Anonymous

The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for…

— Anonymous

The closest that I've gotten to murder: Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop...

— Anonymous

I dont need your shit, I can make my own. eat it!

— Kenie-ann