If you see me smiling it's because I'm thinking of doing something evil or naughty. If you see me laughing it's because… — Emalie Newhall Copy Share Image
Without our immigrants, who will kick our field goals, or train our white tigers? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I'm sick of Heather Mills. Now that she's divorced, let her go marry the drummer from Def Leppard. They can rub their… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Taking subtle shots at someone on Facebook and acting cool to their face=bitch move — Brian Zilinek Copy Share Image
I hate how spiders just sit there on the walls and act like they pay rent... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
To all those i've hurt in the past I'd just like to say....ah well you probably deserved it — Avi Chauhan Copy Share Image
Guys and their afro's man CHOP that shit off it's too hot for all that -_- — Krystal Copy Share Image
Exit Facebook, close laptop, get into bed, unlock phone, check Facebook .... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Age 4: I love Mommy. Age 16: I HATE HER. Age 20: Mom was right Age 57: I wish my Mom was… — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada: Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Linkedin invitations are like herpes...They pop up from time to time to remind you they still exist and nobody wants them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You think Halloween comes only once a year? wrong. Walk into Walmart at 3 in the morning. That's some scary sketchy shit. — Mitchell Perry Copy Share Image
I used to be a knife-sharpener but I couldn't stand the daily grind. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when your friends and family are singing happy birthday and you are just standing there smiling .... — Me Copy Share Image
WAIT! a minute if people who drink alcohol are alcoholics, then I should drink Fanta, and be fantastic ! — Maggy Smexi Harris Copy Share Image
You can Take the Country of Of The Word but You cant take Country out Of the Girl — Victoria Jones Copy Share Image
