I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
The free-lance writer is the person who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
[Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is the opinion of the present reviewer that the weakness of plot is… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
A freelance is one who gets paid by the word -- per piece or perhaps. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That's what makes it so tough for us… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
The ideal age for a boy to own a dog is between forty-five and fifty. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
I have often wondered how they manage to get return envelopes which miss, by one-quarter of an inch, fitting the blank you are supposed… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
My first big mistake was made when, in a moment of weakness, I consented to learn the game; for a man who can frankly… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
But ice-crunching and loud gum-chewing, together with drumming on tables, and whistling the same tune 70 times in succession, because they indicate an indifference… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life whichdoes not include… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
I am both a public and a private school boy myself, having always changed schools just as the class in English in the new… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get out a new book by him… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
One of the chief duties of the fan is to engage in arguments with the man behind him. This department of the game has… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
“There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who do not.” — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
![“[Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is…” quote by Robert Benchley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/36e/robert-benchley-2562_answering-machines_reviewing-the-new-york-city-telephone-di_1763236.jpg)
