Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. That remark in itself wouldn't make any sense… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
One of the chief duties of the fan is to engage in arguments with the man behind him. This department of the… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
A man of forty today has nothing to worry him but falling hair, inability to button the top button, failing vision, shortness… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But my white suit seems to be a… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
Anyone will be glad to admit that he knows nothing about beagling, or the Chinese stock market, or ballistics, but there is… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket. 'How old's your kid?' the… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life whichdoes… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
My first big mistake was made when, in a moment of weakness, I consented to learn the game; for a man who… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That's what makes it so tough for us… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
All that a spectator gets out of the game is fresh air, the comical articles in his program, the sight of twenty-two… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. That remark in itself wouldn’t make any sense… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
I can't quite define my aversion to asking questions of strangers. From snatches of family battles which I have heard drifting up… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
The way to go to the circus, however, is with someone who has seen perhaps one theatrical performance before in his life… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
I have often wondered how they manage to get return envelopes which miss, by one-quarter of an inch, fitting the blank you are supposed… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
My first big mistake was made when, in a moment of weakness, I consented to learn the game; for a man who can frankly… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
But ice-crunching and loud gum-chewing, together with drumming on tables, and whistling the same tune 70 times in succession, because they indicate an indifference… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life whichdoes not include… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
I am both a public and a private school boy myself, having always changed schools just as the class in English in the new… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get out a new book by him… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
One of the chief duties of the fan is to engage in arguments with the man behind him. This department of the game has… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
“There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who do not.” — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
