Funny Quotes

This is funny

— Funny

LOL LOL LOL

— Lolsotrue#

Ha ha ha

— Anonymous

Just be funny

— Anonymous

Im the boss

— Devilgirl

U sick bro

— Anaiya Jones

L0L L0L

— Anonymous

Rut Ro RAGGY

— BANDs

During the rests - pray.

— Eugene Ormandy

How very wet this water is.

— L. Frank Baum

“I see uncool people!”

— Tonya Hurley

I'm not a funny person.

— Johnny Flynn

Pleasure is everything.

— Diana Vreeland

Nigga's be like…

— Kiara Sellars

You're as good as anybody.

— Martin Luther King, Jr

Heaven Has No Favorites

— Erich Maria Remarque

There is nothing assured to mortals.

— Horace

Learning patience takes a lot of patience!

— Tim Hansel

Im hung like a tic tac but I can freshin your breath

— Coty Johnson

You must render: never report.

— Guy de Maupassant

We all have that one friend we can't be serious with.

— Celeste Hartman

Even a genius has his questions.

— Tupac Shakur

My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.

— Henny Youngman

In everything one must consider the end.

— Jean de La Fontaine

Amis is a force unto himself There is, quite simply, no one else like him.

— Jonathan Yardley

Have you not watched it yourself? Whenever you are total in something there is celebration.

— Rajneesh

I love in you everybody, I love through you the world, I love in you also myself.

— Erich Fromm

I know it might be kind of ironic, but I like funny films and documentaries.

— Danny Lloyd

“Do you remember—” “Fuck, yes.” Merrick stood. “And if you’re telling this story, I’m getting the bottle.”

— KJ Charles

Rectory always sounded to me like a place you would find a proctologist.

— Jeff Lindsay

Hey do you like water? Yeah... Good, then you already like 70% of me.

— Kapil Choudhary

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a…

— Steven Wright

Sometimes people just write me into sketches because they think it'll be funny that I'm wearing a blond wig or something.

— Sarah Sherman

Peace comes not by establishing a calm outward setting so much as by inwardly surrendering to whatever the setting.

— Hubert Van Zeller

That awkward moment when you realize just how hot your boy best friend is, and how hard it is to be chill…

— Rachel

“The gilded confines of the Beauty Hall were not my preferred habitat; like the chicken that had laid the eggs for my…

— Gail Honeyman

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year and when they arrive I'll say 'I ordered this damn pizza…

— Ritu Ghatourey

I'd like to just get to a point where maybe we can say something that will be matterful. That's definitely not a…

— Julian Casablancas

“Stuffing one muffin in his mouth and a second in his pocket, Auguste slipped into a side passage and away. He'd just…

— Rachel Heffington

The sky was so clear that the starlight cast shadows, and so many sparkles and glitters and glints appeared above us that…

— P. J. O'Rourke