When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Advice is like castor oil — easy enough to give but dreadful hard to take. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Knowledge is like money, the more a man gits the more he hankers for. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing till it gets there. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
It ain't because lovers are so sensitive that they quarrel so often; it is because there is so much fun n the making up. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds a man down or polishes him up depends on the stuff he's made of. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Its harly my dog A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Unless we put heart and soul into our labor we but brutify our actions. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
A secret ceases to be a secret if it is once confided - it is like a dollar bill, once broken, it is never… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
If a man is right, he can't be too radical; if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
As a general rule, if you want to get at the truth - hear both sides and believe neither. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Self-made men are most always apt to be a little too proud of the job. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
