If you do not know how to lie, cheat, and steal, turn your attention to politics and learn. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
I don't care how much a man talks, if he only says it in a few words. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
A slander is like a hornet; if you cannot kill it dead at the first blow, better not to strike at it. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Experience is a grindstone; and it is lucky for us, if we can get brightened by it, and not ground. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
If you believe you can do something, then you can acquire the ability to do it even if you didn't have it… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
If the world despises a hypocrite, what must they think of him in heaven? — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
If animals had reason, they would act just as ridiculous as we menfolks do. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
A secret ceases to be a secret if it is once confided - it is like a dollar bill, once broken, it… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
If men were stubborn just in proportion as they were right, stubbornness would take her seat among the virtues; but men are… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
What is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul I suppose this depends somewhat… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Dangers are sum like a kold bath, very dangerous while you stand stripped on the bank, but often not only harmless, but… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Contentment is a kind of moral laziness; if there wasn't anything but contentment in his world, man wouldn't be any more of… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Taking from others never results in prosperity. If we steal from others, life will steal from us. There is an incredible abundance… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
As a general rule, if you want to get at the truth - hear both sides and believe neither. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
If a man is right, he can't be too radical; if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Prejudice is a house-plant which is very apt to wilt if you take it out-of-doors among folks. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Habits are like the wrinkles on a man's brow; if you will smooth out the one, I will smooth out the other. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Fortune is like a coquette; if you don't run after her, she will run after you. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
If you would make yourself agreeable wherever you go, listen to the grievances of others but never relate your own. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Every man should know something of law; if he knows enough to keep out of it, he is a pretty good lawyer. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
If mankind were only just what they pretend to be, the problem of the millennium would be immediately solved. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Plenty of folks are so contrary that if they should fall into the river, they would insist upon floating upstream. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Our continual desire for praise ought to convince us of our mortality, if nothing else will. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
It ain't because lovers are so sensitive that they quarrel so often; it is because there is so much fun n the making up. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds a man down or polishes him up depends on the stuff he's made of. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Its harly my dog A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Unless we put heart and soul into our labor we but brutify our actions. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
A secret ceases to be a secret if it is once confided - it is like a dollar bill, once broken, it is never… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
If a man is right, he can't be too radical; if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
As a general rule, if you want to get at the truth - hear both sides and believe neither. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Self-made men are most always apt to be a little too proud of the job. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
