Babies are equipped at birth with a number of instinctive reflexes and behavior patterns that cause them to spend their first several… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Elsewhere in Italy is the lovely city of Venice, which each year attracts millions of visitors despite the fact that it is… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. That's why those old ships… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
And what is the Scientific Community doing about these problems, young people? THEY'RE CLONING SHEEP. Great! Just what we need! Sheep that… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This year, U.S. airlineswill carry a record 143 million passengers, who will be in the air for 382 million hours, during which… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Yet another spunky li'l NASA robot lands and begins transmitting back photographs of rocks that appear virtually identical to the rock photos… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Japanese tend to be far more co-operative and docile and group-oriented. It would be easier to get the entire population of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I am much more likely to care about someone trying to be funny and give them some credit for whatever he or… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The central point of this final chapter is that - follow my logic carefully here - unless you die, you will continue… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Never trust anything you read in a travel article. Travel articles appear in publications that sell large, expensive advertisements to tourism-related industries,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Dating means doing a lot of fun things you will never do again if you get married. The fun stops with marriage… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The best time to go to Disney World, if you want to avoid huge crowds, is 1962. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
You have to be careful on the deck, because of the "hatches," which are holes placed around a sailboat at random to… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
One night in Tokyo we watched two Japanese businessmen saying good-night to each other after what had clearly been a long night… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't get me wrong. I like Disney World. The rest rooms are clean enough for neurosurgery, and the employees say things like… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Today's beauty ideal, strictly enforced by the media, is a person with the same level of body fat as a paper clip. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that, like most books, it had too many words. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
As you know, birds do not have sexual organs because they would interfere with flight. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
